Nov 29, 2006

CONVERSATION WITH IZZY

I know, "Damn, not another set of dog pictures. People and their animals make me want to puke."
But this is more about the torment. This is the evidence of my life, the harsh reality of what I must endure.
In the pictures, you see a window. I live in the basement apartment. This summer, we installed an Air Conditioner/Dehumidifier contraption and vented it out, through the small window in my Living Room. From where I sit at my desk, I can see this window, now all funky from dog prints and nose smears. I have become the victim of countless harassment. Izzy has figured out that if she whines and cries, long enough, into that tube, I'll do one of three things; yell at her to shut the hell up, talk to her or I'll feel sorry for her and give her a treat. It's more about, "Here, take this and shut the fuck up before I skin your ass and make a pair of hot pants. It echo's into my apartment and I can't ignore it. She won as she is now strategically positioned at my feet. She likes to lay between my chair and my desk, just as she did when she was just little. Now, it's like stuffing 55lbs. of sausage into a 10lb. skin. Not to mention the constant barrage of noxious gas emanating from her, right under my nose. See, this breed, the infamous "English Bulldog," was really bred as a college prank because they have the ability to fart on command and enjoy releasing such a horrid stench, they are able to immobilize any animal rendering them helpless. No, there's no rest for the wicked or weary. Wonder which one I am?

12 comments:

JerseyTjej said...

I cannot believe that effin dog weighs 55 lbs!!!! That is a funny photo of her,take some video of her barking in the vent for me!

xmichra said...

lol... dogs, i tell ya!

Miranda said...

LMAO...they so know how to work us huh?

Babsbitchin said...

jersey, yea you can remember when she was just a little shit, just a few months ago. We just got a digital video camera and I will get the tutorial on it tonight. I'm like a fuckin' monkey with a gun, when you give me a camera or video cam. You never know what you'll see from now on!

Babsbitchin said...

xmichra, you see why I'm a strange agent, this is what I must endure! lol!

Babsbitchin said...

miranda, I know, who's trained here, me or the dog? That bitch has got my wrapped around her fat sausagey paw!

Lynn said...

I really love that last picture. You're lucky to have such a cute and funny companion.

Rob7534 said...

I love the doggy! :) He's so cute.

Old Knudsen said...

Have you had her checked for worms? that could be why shes farting, well thats my excuse, its me tape worm not me.

Babsbitchin said...

Lynn, she'sa pain in the ass, more often than not. But she does amuse me at times. Felt the same way about my kids, lol!

Babsbitchin said...

rob7534, Fine, I'm mailing her to you in the Windy City where she can be the Wind Queen.

Babsbitchin said...

knudsen, it's probably a whole gaggle of worms. It's just awful!