Nov 12, 2006


Espionage! Hah, I love it!!! This is a picture of my second Granddaughter, Jaylynn. The little girl on the right is, my youngest son, Waylon's, daughter. This was taken and sent to me on the DL as her Mother, J.A., is afraid I'm going to "gun her down." These were her words, not mine. Why?

Fresh out of Prison, I was placed in a Corrections Center in Pittsburgh in May 2003. That, my friends was one of the most troubling times of my life.

Old Days Old Ways

I'd always handled my own shit. If you fucked with me or mine, you'd be sure to get a visit of some sort in the middle of the night, if we didn't face off right there and then. I almost always, operated in the dead of darkness, stealth, wearing black for the Pay Back. I'd done some get even things. People talk a lot of bullshit, I was not one of them as I was brought up that you're only as good as your word, an ingrained principle. No fear. I had to do something, had to. It was against my grain to let you get away with shit. You were NOT going to think you got over on me. Down and dirty, you were going to remember me, one way or another. You were going to have something to think about for a long time and it's real doubtful you'd fuck with me ever again or think of trying the same bullshit on somebody else. Now, that's just if you fucked with "me". If you fucked with one of my kids, you'd be lucky to live to tell. I am a Mama bear and will fight to the death. But I was smarter than that. I would plot my revenge methodically, in the most abrasive and tactical manner I could muster. I was damn good at this, too. But quite often, I'd go off, half cocked and confront some little twit kid and have the police called on me for terroristic threats or some shit code they'd throw at me. Then, I had a good reason, in my head, to go after the parents of the little twit they were protecting. Yes, I've had several Protection from Abuse orders thrown at me. As I said, people talk a lotta shit, I was not in that population and I certainly was not civilized. Oh yea, I'm all of 5"3 but a big gun will match you every time. If the situation dictated a lesser means, some form of equalizer would be incorporated. We're not boxing here, watch out for that bar stool, look out for that aluminum bat in my trunk, haha, if I'm being nice and don't pull out the crowbar on your monkey fucking ass. At the very least, I'm gonna tell you like it is and yes, your feelings will be hurt cause I am rude, crude and socially unacceptable. That was then, this is now...

A Change of Heart

Prison has a way of changing your outlook for good, if you're smart, anyway. I no longer run rampant. Nope, it's a whole do unto others lifestyle which doesn't mean switching it to an eye for an eye. No, I will not turn the other cheek and allow you to blindside or creep and mess with me. I will say what's on my mind, if the opportunity is afforded me. I will use my words and assault you like a Tommy Gun, if I think it's worth it. Now a days, I pick and choose my fight carefully. I'm learning this new lifestyle, One Day at a Time. I often wish that I was who I used to be, a woman without much conscience. My life would feel easier as shit jumps in my face all the time.

Will the Real Babs Please Step Forward

So, my ex daughter-in-law, J.A. fooled around with Waylon's so called friend, while Waylon was incarcerated. This guy, M.C., was a satanist and a sick motherfucker. I used to talk to this guy all the time. We were close enough that he'd stop his car, in the middle of traffic to talk to me, cars beeping and drivers cussing us out, until he decided to pull over and talk. He wore black nail polish, had piercings and tattoo's and we'd compare and talk about what we had that was new and so on. I didn't know or he wasn't a satanist then. I went to Prison and shit went downhill or the world tilted. J.A. started fooling around with M.C.. Waylon found out when he got out and left J.A. who had Jaylynn in tow. Let the games begin, you know? So, I could deal with this and tried not to hold her indiscretions against her.
It started my first week in the Center. I got a phone call from my daughter, and then my granddaughter Jessie called, along with a few other calls I got on the situation. I was informed, that Jaylynn who was less than 2 years old, had been walking around the neighborhood, only dressed in a diaper, early in the AM, while M.C. and J.A. slept off a drunk. Hmmmmm? Shit happens, I realize this. It's possible for a young child to wander off in the morning, sleeping off a drunk or otherwise. I'm a reasonable person. OK, I don't like it but I'll be reasonable here. Then, I heard that M.C. was arrested for breaking in to a Mausoleum and defiling a baby's grave. He would eventually be convicted, along with J.A., as they found a whole group of them had been involved in ritual shit. They'd taken gold, vandalized the premises, some really sick shit. What can I do? The next call came and I was told by my daughter, that they'd gone over to check on Jaylynn and she was strapped into her car seat,in front of the T.V., diaper duct taped on backwards and she was screaming so hard that she couldn't hardly catch her breath. They were asleep, in the bedroom. I also found out later that they'd been on a coke binge and Jaylynn had found a razor blade and cut herself with it.

Fear and Common Sense

What to do? I am in a half-way house, a Correctional Facility in Pa. and about 2 1/2 hours from where this was all going down. This was one of many lessons in self-control and I didn't like it one bit. Unless I had a pass and they weren't giving them to lil' ol' me, I had to be in at 6:30 pm. I could go to work, sign out to go to the store or the church and that was it. I had two options; Take off and pay for it later with a one-way ticket back to the slammer to finish more than a 5 year sentence or pray. I chose the latter.

Not a Total Concession

I weighed it all out. Then, while wording things very carefully, I threatened her life and told her I was willing to go straight to hell, if she hurt my Grandbaby again. Fuck prison, I was gonna be dining with big daddy Satan. In graphic detail but coded, I let her know what I was going to do to her and M.C. and that I was not playing. The emissary, who delivered the message, read her the death sentence that I'd carefully dictated and she knew I meant every single fucking word. I still do. Thus far, she's taken me seriously as I've not got another report. You can bet your ass, if shit jumps off again, I'm there now. I'm not on Parole but I am willing to do what it takes to make sure Jaylynn, the beautiful little girl that she is, is protected and cared for.
Call me a liar, if need be but I know and I know that I mean what I say. Besides, I answer to a higher authority and now he takes care of business!


Miranda said...

Jaylynn is lucky to have a Grandma like you. Good for you! Mama bears are good things to be.

Babsbitchin said...

miranda, this is actually a huge hurt piece for me. I have two Granddaughters I can't and haven't seen. I've never even met Jaylynn and Kassandra, who has Cystic Fibrosis, I've not seen since she was a baby and I don't even know where she is. I heard Arizona. Isn't this just unfair?
Thanks, my friend!

mary said...

Aww sweetie yes it is..when they are old enough my gut tells me they'll seek you out. Just think of all the good & original Grandma Babs things you can teach them.

Great post's a bitch with the teaching shit aint it..yea we have to pick our battles's getting easier though.

love to you

Babsbitchin said...

Mary, I hope you're right and I hope I live long enough to sit down with them and tell them who I am and I am not. I sooooo worry about Kassandra. I often can't breath since they took two ribs out and I had one cracked in half. I think of her, Kassandra, when I can't breath and can only imagine what it is like to not be able to breath right. I pray every night for her.
Life is hard when you have a conscience. I often wish I didn't anymore. Tough call. Thanks pal!!