Nov 4, 2006

Like A Bad Penny...

I'm back! It's a constant war but the good will prevail, sense of humor in my pocket!!

Just a few old posts from Bitchin' & Stuff...


My darling cat, Pooka must've been captured behind enemy lines. I can only assume that he has been taken hostage. This is an excerpt from his diary.

Pooka's Diary:

Day 15 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - I should try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing
something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured - - But I can wait. It's only a matter of time........


My past has come back to haunt me on several occasions, namely bullets flying in my direction. But right now, I'm reminded of the Ozone layer. Why, you ask, the Ozone Layer? Well, I believe we ruined the Ozone Layer in one decade; the 80's. I must admit, I loved the rock scene, especially Heavy Metal and all that went with it back then. Micro mini skirts, crop tops, leather pants, tour t-shirts. I loved those damn button-fly jeans too, especially when a guy would wear them and leave a couple buttons undone and he had that line of hair that when traced with a finger would lead you to the destruction of a good woman's reputation, not that I ever had one. Jeeeeez, now I'm even hotter than before.
Anyway, but when we ushered in the 80's we brought an ugly and sinister fashion trend to light; BIG HAIR. We all had it, guys and girls. But the worst part was that frigin' claw that all the girls had. You know, those ugly ass bangs in the front.And here's the part of our damnation; HAIRSPRAY!! We had to have all that hair spray to get that hair and especially those bangs. I can remember yelling at my own children, "I love you too but don't ever touch Mommy's hair." My husband stopped caressing my hair when we made love, well that's a fargin lie cause we never made love. It's was Gorilla warfare, monkey love, jungle juicy and he used to grab me by my hair and be forceful with me and I loved it. But when the 80's came, he knew not to dare touch my hair or some blood would be spilt, I'd have to pop a cap in his ass for that. All those years of White Rain clouds in the air and they cut a whole right in that Ozone Layer. Thus, the hot as hell heat and it's partly my fault.


Reluctant Nomad said...

Welcome back! The look has changed - it looks good too!

Babsbitchin said...

Nomad, why thank you very much. This'll do if I don't get my old blog back. We'll see. In the meantime, I hope you have a wonderful and lazy Sunday afternoon!

Snooze said...

Whew! Thought you'd disappeared. I had to resort to Googling you.

Babsbitchin said...

snooze, I was just on your page today trying to put up your new link. I hit a comment you left on Bees site to get your link. But it opened in another window and all and I couldn't do the link and got called away from my desk right after that. Glad to hear from you, G-friend!

mary said...

Okay now I feel better..there be she sister in arms. Changed yoru link to this one for now. Next time you feel like dumping all that hard work..come get me..we'll trasnsfer stuff together.

love ya

Babsbitchin said...

Mary, thanks. I needed one of those slaps across the face and to have someone yell "Pull yourself together." I was pissed and I get kinda crazy when I'm that mad. Well, shit gets done but it's not always a good thing. I can't be trusted. Thanks so much pal and I do mean it.
Big Love!