Dec 7, 2006


I am always able to look in the mirror and assess myself. When I am unable, my friends, dear friends, kindly make a point. Social ignorance is rampant in this day and age. People don't know how to see me. If I could only give you all of me, you'd see. Since I can't and you only get snippets of who I am, what I represent, what's really important to me, since I can't sit you down and explain how I feel, you see me as ignorant, a racist.
I will say this much, many things are not said that should be. Many things are said that shouldn't be. I will not apologize for anything I say but I am willing to say that I understand and concede to not make my point at your expense. But I ask you to read this. I ask you, if you are choosing to be offended or are you truly offended? If you said that you are truly offended, I want you to look at that. To get through this life, intact, you need to be like an onion, thick skinned with many layers. Otherwise, you're boiled down to the bone, the very core, quick and in a heart beat. We all will never get along completely. You are different than I and I am different, maybe even strange to you. If I choose to be hurt by your ignorance of that, then I will be. Maybe the joke is "off color" but do you choose to take offense? Do you choose to be offended? I mean really, you can choose to move on and call me a racist. Or, you can choose to be light hearted and laugh at what is laughable. Why do I not get offended when broached with white jokes, name calling and such? It is because I choose not to be offended. For those of you that do choose to be "hurt" by a simple joke, well, I'll expect you to take a look at that. I am Lakota Sioux and Irish. Do you know how many jokes I hear and even worse about how I am not to be trusted with liquor as I might scalp somebody. Now really, should I take offense. No, I think it's rather funny.
But I do not choose to offend and am going to pull the joke from this post. I sure hope you take your beliefs and values and apply them to something more important. Take that backbone it took to tell me that I am so wrong and put it to a better cause.

Racism is commonly defined as a belief or doctrine where inherent biological differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, with a corollary that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.[1]

I was called a racist. I never thought of myself that way. I don't think my best friend and recently ex house mate, Kim, who is black, would agree. I have trained and been responsible for countless men and women, of all nations and color and I've never been called a racist. Now, I have been called an asshole, whore, slut pig bitch and I'll cop to it but you have me wondering about the racist label.


xmichra said...

Before i get started, i want to make it clear that i do not think you are a racist. but i will explore a little to see if some of this rings true for you, okay??

Blogs are a great communication device, and sometiems we do unleash things that we would normally hold back on .. because we do not know who we are writting around. Who's to say that you are more or less a racist then anyone else? you tell an off color joke now and again, but you respect and honor a persons rights as a human being. so i personally don't see that.

But you know, if you are not used to that nature of language or kidding (even if they are faithful readers of yours) it may get misconstrude. If for the simple fact that a lot of people were brought up to think joking about something crude and politically incorrect was just as bad or somecases worse, then actually harnessing the belief behind the joke.

Some also think that in telling a joke of that kind, it reflects on your inner truth, and what you really think.. but are to affraid to say it, so 'joke' about it. That wasy you can cop out and say "well, it was just a joke, i don't REALLY think that".

But you know, to each their own. Sometimes a person will tell a joke that i find really crude (you have to know those are really bad.. lol!), but i usually don't say anything. Especially in a blog. You don't know whos who in here. You don't know how a person truely lives. And they don't know you. So to take offence... well. Just stop comming by. What else can you do? Getting mad, or throwing bad labels at a person will only cause a war, instead of a joke.

Some people can handle things. Some people can't. And some don't think it is fair that they should even have to be subjected to these things. but the realitlyof life, the way things work, and to make fun of things is pretty normal.

I might not want to start droppin' the N word though if i were you.

Babsbitchin said...

xmichra, you mean nigga? I've been called that before, seriously. No that's funny, I don't care who you are! hahaha! You have a very valid synapse of the situation. It's true, everything you said. Now, I don't really take offense to it, being called a racist but I do like for the truth to be told at all costs, even if it's uncomfortable. I am not, for the most part, a belligerent soul, in fact, just the opposite. I do not normally start a fight. But I do invite the truth in all affairs and it's often uncomfortable. We have all been the butt of a joke and if you can laugh with it and not choose to take offense, then all is well in the world. It is hated that is offensive. I am not about hatred. You are wise beyond your years, X!

Anonymous said...

racist doesn't just equal hate.

Not to be a hater or anything, but it does seem like you might be a little racist.

Babsbitchin said...

anonymous, if you were to make light of anything white, I wouldn't say a thing. I get along with anybody but I can see things as they are and not be shitty about it. You may be right, I just don't feel it and as the definition describes, I do not feel superior to anyone, no one. Thanks.

Chuck said...

if you can tell the difference between any race then you are a racist, and always the person that slings that word around has issues with it themselves. we are all products of our enviroment and our upbringing, it's how we choose to handle it that shows our true character. black, white, red, yellow, or tan we are all screwed up and it makes no difference, i know the difference and all i can do is try not to hate, i think the word "racist" is just as ugly a word as "nigger".

and only babs would tell an ethnic joke when the topic of the day is racism, that shows a character that is genuine and secure in what she is, once again, "Fuck 'Em if they don't like it!" PEACE TO ALL.

Tom Bailey said...

These type of conversations always head down a fairly predictable path.

Anonymous said...

Since you have elected to educate your readers on the exact definition of racism, then loudly proclaim you aren't a racist, I'd like to educate you on the bindi. The Bindi is traditionally worn by married women low on the forehead in the area of the sixth chakra, agni, the seat of "concealed wisdom". According to followers of Tantrism, this chakra is the exit point for kundalini energy. The bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. It is also said to protect against demons or bad luck. In more modern times, the bindi is worn more as decoration, as can be seen by Western celebrities (such as Gwen Stefani), but it is rooted in a religious belief that belongs to a certain ethnic group.

Your "joke" is not only unfunny, it is ethnically and religiously insensitive. Perhaps in your mind this does not qualify as racist; in my mind, it certainly does.

I'm sorry about your father, but government set-asides for minorities and immigrants have everything to do with the fact that as white Americans, we are born with an advantage. Those set asides are designed to balance that. Whether or not they work is another story entirely - but it is incredibly inappropriate and ill-aimed to manifest your anger at that towards an entire ethnic group or religion - and your "joke" does just that.

Old Knudsen said...

Does being PC with the fear of offending anyone mean you have yer sense of humour removed? that was a funny joke wise up ya eejit.

Babsbitchin said...

chuck, on the front line of an embattled existence. What you said is more than true and I thank you.

Babsbitchin said...

Tom Bailey, by God, I think you are speaking truth on this one. Don't I know it.

Babsbitchin said...

Anonymous, I thank you for your comment. It is rather educating for those that do not know.

Babsbitchin said...

old knudsen,it was funny as hell. I'm sorry but I have a good sense of humor. I'm glad Scotland can laugh.

xmichra said...

rac·ism /ˈreɪsɪzəm/
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

i beleive it is to do with 'just' hate. read the above.
But regardless, i think to a point we are all cynical of people in general. Sometimes that makes for comedy. and some people find it funny, but wouldn't relegate a race to be subservant.

Tom, you are right. these conversations always go the same way. it's unfortunate. but it happens.

bottom line, you are going to offend someone, no matter what you do or say. So, take things with a grain of salt. The people who are reading a blog are indeed people, and we all error on the side of judgement. Something we all seem to have in common.

Babsbitchin said...

Xmichra, there you go showing off again, lol, but you do make sense. I choose to offend no one. They choose to be offended and that is a sad case. Thus, I must sacrifice my doctrine and try to be nice as it's not worth the wear, now is it? Too many other things to talk about, bigger fish to fry and I'm one frying bitch. Damn that hot grease is painful. Kiss the Princess for me!

Old Knudsen said...

Why would you care what a bunch of arseholes think of you? if people come from Trainwreck to read you and make their own minds up thats good, if they can see you're not a rascist then they have the smarts, if not then they missed the point they are as dumb as racists and should die in a fire. Gee I hope they don't come to my blog (hint hint) plenty there to laugh about, yeah I'm a funny fucker. Don't let it worry you, half of them don't have balls enough for you to know where they come from, its easy to be brave and hidden, besides did you read that site? boring, I could of done that alot better. As long as you know the truth they can fuck off, it all sounds like someone with a grudge anyway, did ya piss anyone off ? hahahaha

Babsbitchin said...

Knudsen, you may be right and I may very well have pissed somebody off but right. I'm not much for being nice when I'm called a certain name but I really couldn't care too awfully much or I would've removed it all. You'd better set my ass on fire first. The joke is still on my site but it is in last months archives. Now, I figure if they look for it and want to show their arses then, they can fuck off, eat shit and howl at the moon. Yes, they need to go harass you for a minute. I'll send them, along with the Mormons your way.

Chuck said...

attention is attention whether it is good or bad, don't ya just love it, people live to hate something, it's funny how those who hate you the most let you control their emotions, i'd rather spend my energy on love -- i hope that did not sound too much like a pansy and i hope the use of the word "pansy" does not offend anyone because i'd just feel like shit if it did -- get the Fuck over it -- now i hope the use of the word "Fuck" does not offend anyone because i'd just feel like... (i could do this all day) give 'em hell babs!

brotherray said...

Love Babs. Sorry you deleted your other blog.

Question for anonymous: if I make a joke about Rev Al and Jesse Jackson and Santa Claus, am I a racist? You mean to tell me all these ugly and mean jokes I love to laugh at means I'm racist? Holy Jumping Jesus. I'm a racist. Holy crap what am I gonna do now?

If someone miscontrues you Babs, tell em to get fucked.

Political correctness and lovely philosophical horseshit vomited up just sucks. If it's not funny who gives a shit? Political correctness is like someone forcing babies to eat sesame seed crackers. Oh holy shit I have now what might be construed as disparaging remarks about Elmo, and Holy Cow -- CRACKAS TOO!

RICH said...

hmmm don't sweat this babs.. eveyone is hypersensitive these days. you can't call a nigger a nigger anymore or a french canadian a "frog" or a spanish person a "spic" evety ethnic group has it's nicknames as I like to call em and so what's the big deal. we all know this and people just like to play on it to gain advantage.

Babsbitchin said...

brotherray, yep, we be white bread cracka ass racists. I'm getting t-shirts printed up. Want me to send you yours?
I am trying not to fall into the PC thing and I won't. I am who's I am and I can't help it. But I would imagine that all the past crew and squad members, I so diligently trained, who still stay in touch with me, send me wedding invitations, keep abreast of their lives, because they say "I made an impact on them," would disagree. They are black, chinese, korean and two from Jordan, one from turkey and of course my old pakistani friends. I think they'd argue this point. But oh well!

Babsbitchin said...

Rich, ain't it the truth. I don't sweat the small shit and it's all small shit. I do believe, in my day, I've been called worse than a racist. I'm still alive. I can't stand a bleeding heart though but if we can agree to disagree, it's all good. We all want to be right, right? You have a great day, my friend!

xmichra said...

Babs, what the hell is this trainwreck thing?? and why all the annon comments?? See, not to start an all out war here (because this is just a question) but with annon comments comes, well.. more loose of tounge. you know that. Why are you allowing them?

Kitty said...

Babs, I am so selfishly glad you were trainwrecked - otherwise I don't think I would have found you!

I think most people who consciously disapprove of the evils of racism nonetheless believe and think some racist things. People who go around looking for things to be offended about need to remove the plank from their own eye, first.

Privileged white people acting like the racism police is something that gets under my skin. Sometimes, people need to shut up and listen to the groups they are trying to speak for - it's the people who think they don't have any issues of their own that really scare me. I suspect that being the racism police comes from defensiveness or fear of being called out on their own shit.

I have a lot of respect for people like you, who have the awareness to recognize when they might have said something hurtful, and the dignity to set things right with the person they hurt.

I also have a lot of respect for people who have the courage to speak up when they've been hurt by someone else's comments - that can be a really hard thing to do. I want to know when I've hurt my friends, so I can try not to do it again, but it's tough for me to let them know when the shoe is on the other foot.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to be thick-skinned and laugh things off, while in others, it is as bad as a lie.

That's why I like you, Babs. You make me think!

CanadianSwiss said...

You? Racist?? Now that sure makes me laugh! I think quite a bit has been said already, so I won't go much deeper into this.

If people can't take a joke, they they can say they did not appreciate it, then leave it at that. Let them think what they want. We know (and love) you just the way you are and that's the most important. Hugs my dear.

Babsbitchin said...

canadianswiss, ah gee, you're too good to me. I really appreciate it because I was looking at it. I may be misconstrued as one but I'm not, I hope? Thanks and you know you gotta kiss that X, please?

Babsbitchin said...

xmichra, I passed right by your comment, maybe I thought it was anonymous but I do apologize. If they get nasty, I have just to delete and change the setting, I'm really in the frame of mind where it's not bothering me, really. It is testament to how people think. Some are good, some are bad. But you know me and my experiments. I don't have a real real life so I enjoy a tad bit of debate. No harm, no foul. We'll see what happens w/this. BTW, I happen to think that Trainwreck is a blog critique thing, maybe? I've been critiqued, bah!

Babsbitchin said...

Kitty, I already respect your opinion and you seem reasonable and fair. It is not ever my aim to offend anyone. I can be a true bitch in every form of the word but I do not wish to draw first blood. I love my little scientific experiments, ask anybody. I love to open people and their minds to all viewpoints good and bad and I am famous for stirring the shit of diversity, guilty as charged. But it is so true, if we stopped looking at skin color, sexual preference or religion and you were measured by who you are and not what you possibly represent, it'd be a better world. I'll never change it but the mere fact that I have been exposed to so many view points on a first name basis, allows me to see things differently. I am black Irish and Indian. My children are more Indian than me. My son is gay, I grew up in the black neighborhoods and most of my friends coming up were black. I could go on and on. But the pint is, no, I do not wish to hurt anyone and I wish the hell people were for real or at least more open-minded. Until such time, I suppose every now and again, I'll be called a racist.
I thank you for your comment and I mean that!

xmichra said...

my comments come up without a link to my blog, but i sign in as other, sith a link to my blog. so that is odd, i do appear anonymous.

That only happend when the google account crap started infiltrating blogger. Must be their was of saying "you have a different provider, you suck!". hehe.

Babsbitchin said...

I wonder if mine does that too? I'll have to wonder, you know my WP blog. Sorry, I passed right by you. I do tend to overlook the ones that don't have a link for some reason. I'll have to watch for it from now on. Did you guys just get hammered with snow last night?