Jan 24, 2007

~Perpetual Fag Hag~


My oldest son, Lee (**The Gay One) works in a Mall in Pa. He has a beautiful Fag Hag by the name of Sierra. This girl is drop dead gorgeous and has been compared to a better looking Heather Locklear. Anyway, her and Lee are the best of friends but it was really in question yesterday. They are close enough, that they kiss cheeks, upon seeing each other. She came up behind him, as he stood in the middle of the Mall and gently kissed him on the cheek. She then caressed his neck, ever so slightly. He was smiling and so glad to see her, when he got the first of something creeping up his neck, off his collar, slowly. He tried to ignore it, after all, insanity rules in our family. When it had moved into his hair and he realized whatever the fuck it was, it was heavy, he freaked and flipped the fucking thing across the Mall walkway. As he felt it in his hand, he said he screamed like such a butch bitch, that every fucking person in that Mall, stopped what they were doing and looked at him, breaking into a cold sweat. Sierra had placed a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach on his collar. He read her the riot act, he told her the fuck off and warned her, if she wanted to live to tell, she'd never, ever do that again. I wish I'd seen that. If you have a good imagination, envision a man who is 6"0 255 lbs, screaming like a macho woman. I guess it's one of those, "You had to be there," kinda thingys!


**As I played out the words, in my head, to this post, I felt the need to say, "The Gay Son." People will say to me, "Babs, why do you say, 'the gay son?' and I have to point out a few things...
To tell you this, is to set the stage, if you really know how some gay men are. There are several different types of gay men. Some of these men are Butch, Drama Queens, Flamers, Flip Floppers, Tops, Bottoms, in the closet, out and overly out with a political agenda and on and on.They are as different and numerous as the stars in the sky. Oh, and I do not want to forget the Old Queens who forged the way for the younger more sleek version of the Gay man, what you know and love today. They were the ones that took most of the heat. Talk about civil rights greats and you will first be pointed in the direction of Martin Luther King, right? Even MLK and his wonderful wife Coretta Scott King spoke of embracing diversity, knowing full well what it is to be discriminated against. But our great men, the Gay icons such as Elton John, Barney Frank and the likes were never given that great status, that leadership, in the good fight but I do. And here on this page, Babs Bitchin, we are gay and damn proud of it. But it is not a necessary thing to point out, short of saying, accept diversity or go the fuck home. You are welcome to your opinion but unless you want me to read you the riot act, go fuck with somebody else, somebody who is pliable and breakable. I will not bend or bow, ever. I have been a fag hag, long before there was such a word. I have, literally fought for gay rights. My own son went through so much scrutiny and I've drawn a gun on more than one gay basher, in his defense, as a teen. Once, I was surrounded, by a seemingly, whole black community, who'd done some dirty shit to my son. I'd had enough. Suffice it to say about 7 squad cars were called and thank god they knew me. Those people, on that day, at that moment, found out exactly how this woman rolls and not to mess with mine, ever again. My son reads my pages, they all do and we can both stand before God and say, "Oh yea, somebody almost got a bullet in the butt that day." Regardless, the point of the follow post is this; if I describe, or say to you, or make reference to a person that is gay, it is for perspective. Gay men are a species of their own. They have class, distinction, poise, craftiness. They are charming, interesting, witty, sarcastic, to the point and if you want to have fun, a good life, become a fag hag and live your life on the wild side, for fucks sake. He is a "Winkte, " which is the Sioux Indian word for a gay man. It means that he is wise because he has a foothold in both worlds, that of the male and female perspective. I firmly believe this and love my gay men. My son Lee, well, sometimes he snaps his fingers and they spark and sometimes he will break bad and you can fear for your life. But most of all, he is the best friend and just happens to be my son.

Happy Birthday Lee




Reluctant Nomad had a good post on Fag Hag and a test. Are you a good Fag Hag???



6 comments:

Jagd Kunst said...

I once lived in a roach infested hellhole in my favourite part of town. My best trick was to meet someone on the street, shake their hand then watch as the horror dawned on their faces at the chucharachas crawling out of my shirt. Good times.

Butchieboy said...

I read the first part (about the cockroach). This is a good story. It would have been funnier if he had pooped his pants, though.

Babsbitchin said...

jagd kunst, omg, do I hate roaches. I lived in a black section of town, in the 70's and those buggers were brazen. In Virginia, we also had water bugs (Chinese Cockroaches)and they were huge. I never wore shoes, unless I had to and you'd step on them at nite and they'd crunch. I get the willies just thinking about it and you with roaches coming out of your shit. Like fuck would I ever, knowingly have a big bug on me. You got more balls, there, than I do, for damn sure! Eeeeew!

Babsbitchin said...

Butchieboy, a few years ago, he might've, when his IBS was bad. Today, he's in charge of his bowels. Good commercial plug, huh?

Webmiztris said...

ewwww! i would have freaked the fuck OUT! does she always carry hissing cockroaches around with her? lol

Babsbitchin said...

webmiztris, I don't think, normally. She also put one under the bathroom door and it was almost stomped the fuck into extinction. I'd flip the fuck out too. Oh hell no. The funny part is I can hear that familiar bitch scream I know and love of from son. I can hear it resonating and it cracks me the fuck up, oh shit. He works in a mall not too awfully far from you.