Please make a choice from one of the following options...
**If you are Bipolar, Manic-Depressive:
Please press 10. Because you ARE a ten! Ha, ha...
Now press 0, since that's what we know you really are.
**If you have OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder):
Please press 1, repetitively and with increasing frenzy.
**If you suffer from Co-Dependency:
Please ask someone else to press 2 for you.
**If you have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder):
Please press any random selection of numbers.
**If you are Paranoid-Delusional:
Please press 6-6-6 and remain on the line until the
authorities have traced the location of YOUR call.
**If your diagnosis is Schizophrenia:
Please listen carefully for a commanding voice to tell
you which number you need to press.