Feb 16, 2007

Peeing in Public

I was on the phone a couple days ago, with my Mom. This is a woman who could be in the middle of beating the dogshit out of us and the phone would ring, she would stop, answer the phone and sound so cheery and professional, like she was having the best day of her life. Anyway, I was on the phone with her, as I said and she says, "Hold on Sweetheart," then I hear commotion and her yelling. I can tell her teeth are clenched and it brings back memories of my childhood and I'm thankful she's there and I'm here, not really. But they live in a home, they built and a golf course is in the backyard basically. I guess it's all the rage in the Orlando area, to build homes with a golf course smack dab in the middle. I hear, "I see that, I see what you're doing. Put that away." She comes back on the phone, sweet as pie and explains that these "dirtbags" can't hold their bladder and are always peeing in her bush, which is located on the 8th Hole. Her tone has changed, it's soft and soothing. This is where I get my Hitwoman qualities as Mom could pull the trigger and not even flinch. I do believe she's now realizing that she's old enough, that it's like playing the lottery and she's gonna win that all expense paid trip to heaven, sooner than later. She's trying to get a ticket to ride.

2 comments:

It's Me, Maven... said...

I'm sure there is a neighborhood watch or even a "board" to place complaints to. All of these specialty villages and such have all sorts of folks in high command of what can or cannot happen in their little fiefdoms. Mom should look into this and lodge a formal complaint.

Babsbitchin said...

Maven, she's put different signs up, surveillance and what not. That might be what she needs to do. I will suggest it to her. She's been around the block but sure doesn't need to see that on a regular basis, ya know?