Mar 4, 2007

In My Perfect World...

Babs For President

This cool mod chick, Paula has a post called Fat Friday. My own comment on it, caused me to write this post.

If it was a perfect world or even near or a facsimile of a perfect world, these would be some cool things...

Of course, you all know, when I am elected President, we will have a legalization to Taser Stupid People. If you can justify, that they were being stupid, you are not fined but the stupid person who took you to court, will get a stiff fine thus deterring people from taking it to court. There will be a Tazor Processing Court Jury. It will be made up, a roster of Dirty Bitch Generals and held in Virtual Court via Webcam. Think of the implication, just how big this is!?

You will be required to obtain and maintain, a license to breed/have children. You will and must pass an aggressive test. The test will be well rounded with Psychological, DNA and Environmental variables. If you are deemed immature, too fat, freakish, etc., you will not get a license. You'll have to study for the test and understand the proponents of good parenting. Of course, Dirty Bitch Generals will administer the test. Tutoring is available.

It would be illegal for people to allow their dogs to continually bark and be left outside all fuckin day to have nothing better to do than bark.

There would be an invention, you could strap on your dogs ass, that would catch the poop.

There would be a fine, if you did not pay attention in the grocery store and held up traffic, just as you can get a ticket on the roads for obstructing, they would police the aisles. If no Officer is present, you are allowed to Taser the dumbass.

All Television stations will not be permitted to show the same commercial within a 6 hour time frame. Commercials that loudly repeat and repeat, the same catch phrase, will not be tolerated.

It will be illegal for fast food workers to be anything but courteous. They will not be permitted to talk to each other during their on time, in the galley, behind the counter, except to process an order and in the consummation of that order. It will be perfectly legal to taser these workers, if they are fraternizing instead of working.

Under stringent supervision, drugs will be legalized. Of course, you must be an adult and giving drugs to a child, will land you in prison, for a long time. But this will clear out the prisons, for one, as most prisons are filled with drug dealers or those with drug charges. Now, these punk ass wannabe hard asses will have to get a job or starve. Crystal meth and crack cocaine users will have to move to the new "Drug Enclosure" in Arizona, in the Sonora Desert. A high, unclimbable wall will be built, for safety reasons. This will be, so you can wander aimlessly, become delusional and paranoid until you get sick of it and finally wake up. Child molesters and rapists will also be banned to a similar city where they can molest and rape each other till they die or kill each other. Crooked politicians and government officials will be placed with the rapists and molesters. I think this might deter, more than a harsh prison sentence.

I could go on and on but I won't, you get the drift...


Webmiztris said...

you got my vote. I've been dying to taser stupid people FOREVER! and the fact that weed is illegal blows my mind. alcohol fucks me up WAY WAY WAY worse than weed!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Webmiztris, I couldn't agree with you more. I can not recall, ever, someone who was stoned, beating the livin crap outa their wife w/o provocation or robbing a bank and I could go on forever. I'd bet the statistics would back that up.
It would be so wonderful, a perfect world to just zap the fuck outa some people, lol!

Edd.D said...

Vote Babs. Do you take postal votes?

.Ophelia. said...

i would vote for you. Im all for that taser law!!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

edd.d, darlin' if the UK elects me, I want you as an Ambassador, of course, lol!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Ophelia, That be some funny shit, huh? I mean, I can envision it and the smile on my face. Gracious I can be nasty, hah!

SuperSnark said...

You're totally my write-in candidate!

And now I want a damn Taser of my own. And bad.

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