Mar 5, 2007

Life Sucks...

I'm hating life today and I don't know why. My hand and my elbow still hurt and my Doctor gave me Darvocet which is a big joke. I have to go to work in a few minutes and even though I am remanded to easy stuff, I just don't want to be there. Sorry, I can't be the nice person, everybody knows, hah! If my hand didn't hurt to even make a fist, I'd go to the nearest bar and start a fight, I'm telling you. Actually, I'd probably talk myself out of it but it sure sounds inviting. So, here's a pic so maybe I can get a nasty ass comment on my hair. Oh, and you can tell me how I look like I had a stroke, too. I know the flash is coming, hate it and tend to want to close one eye. What a photog woosy. Go ahead, make my day. Get my ass hairs up, make my nostrils flare, make me feel alive again, you fucksticks! Am I having a Bi-Polar day? Maybe. I sure would feel better, if I could tell everybody, not you but those around me to suck a fat man's fart, eat shit and fuck off. Even the dog is on my last nerve. She's such a pig, snorting and rooting. Oh, that's my sister. Just kidding but Mz.Trampalotta was getting boned in the living room last nite. When I went to the laundry room, it was quite clear, somebody was doing the horizontal mambo, upstairs. Maybe, I'm jealous, I thought to myself? But then I realized that I have a vibrator and plenty of batteries. This means that I eat when I want, fart when I want and I run the remote. Seriously, I didn't even know how to. Who the fuck wrote the rules, that the man gets the remote by default? I'll kick 'em in the teeth. Step up dickhead! We had to watch fuckin' Jimmy Houston and Hank Parker every Saturday morn and AMC, most of the time, when fishing and hunting shows weren't on. I'm happy to not have to put up with greasy fingerprints on the bologna, when I go to make a sandwich or have to put the seat down, as I'd learned the hard way, falling into the pot, in many a middle of the nite bathroom runs. Nothing says love like falling in, half asleep. Having all men in the home, I got so disgusted, I put a sign up in the bathroom that said...
If you're gonna piss like a bitch, please sit down like I do!

It did work, most of the time and I got my point across. Can't handle your wand fella's?
Anyway, this is a shitty mentality, but I am enjoying, laying in bed and watching what I want to watch. You couldn't pay me to go back to those assholes. Nope, I'll fucking become a cat lady first. That's probably what happened to that lady who lives down the street from you. You know the one with 20 cats? She broke away, after years off sleeping cheek to butt cheek and being woken by the rumble of a fart, resonating between your own ass cheeks and you didn't do it. She got tired of cooking and cleaning for an ingrateful man who ran the remote and watched retarded shit. Good for her. I think I may go get a cat.

14 comments:

Webmiztris said...

you make the crazy cat lady lifestyle sound pretty sweet!!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Webmiztris, I came home early and may just go out and buy 2 or 20 cats. It does sound peaceful, huh? lol

Chuck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chuck said...

do you know how to tell if babs is still breathing?

... if she's still bitchin'!

friggin' darvocet... didn't that just piss you off?

blogger can whif my sack, it's givin' me that s**ts. xoxo

.Ophelia. said...

Great post lovie! Dont work too hard at work or by being nice.

"Sorry, I can't be the nice person, everybody knows, hah!"

Man if I had a dollar for everytime someone 'noticed' I wasn't quite Ophelia. Its like Im sorry I can't be bubbly for your sake. sheesh!

p.s. I ALWAYS TAKE FUCKED UP PHOTOS!!! Usually when its someone taking the pic. My eyes look dead or Im just making really creepy faces.

ungh I hate to admit this but I wonder when Andrew will realize Im the remote hogging, sleep farting, heart string tugging fool and leave me for a cave in the mountains. He did say he would end up a hermit in this lifetime...

Lynn said...

OMG, Babs! My current post and the one that came before it are definitely for you! Come on over if you like. I sure hope your pain subsides very soon. Physical pain, especially that which effects nerves, can be horribly irritating to say the very least.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Chuck you know me so well, hahaha! Yea, they cut me in the palm of my hand, you know right all along that line, in your palm when you fold your thumb in and a six inch slice in my elbow and moved two fucking nerves. They did surgery on Fri., Feb.2nd and I was back to work at job one on Monday. Darvocet doesn't cut the mustard and gives me the shits too, hahaha! Hugs Baby!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Ophelia, I'm a sarcastic asshole, huh? lol!
I'm glad I'm not the only one, who has shitty days where you just can't fake the funk, ya know?
As far as your hubby goes, love is blind, crippled and crazy. Ain't that sweet? If they look for fault, they'll find it. But if it's true love, soul love, they see past all things, well most of the time, tehe!
Thanks for the pep talk, I needed somebody to slap me and say, "Bitch, get ahold of yourself." lol!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Lynn, it's good to hear from you. I'll come over and visit. You are right though, nerve pain is the absolute worst!

Jagd Kunst said...

that's your hair? I thought it was your habit...(you asked for it, I had a shitty day too so I'm only too happy to oblige.)

What's darvocet? Is it a drug refined from marmosets?

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Jagd Kunst, aaaaah shit! You made me laugh, a good thing. I used to wear a black skirt on my head and pretend I was a nun, you pegged me. Darvocet is propoxyphene, a low dose pain killing narcotic. It's junk and not junk in the good sense of the word "Junk."

Paula said...

Fuck me, that was funny! I'm putting you on the blogroll.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Paula, it wasn't funny at the time. Glad I can look back and see this shit, you know when I might be thinking that I may need some male companionship, ya know. I have to remind myself or my hormones will ruin me. Thanks Paula, I love your blog, especially the set-up, too cool!

It's Me, Maven... said...

Hope your hand is healing nicely!