Jul 7, 2007

The Big Bite


This story reminded of days gone by. I worked at an undisclosed Hospital. The quiet ER was a buzz, when a finely dressed couple walked in. She had a bloody towel wrapped around her head and he was holding an ice pack on his wanker. I wasn't involved with this one but come to find out, well, this is what happened;

It was the couple's Anniversary. They dressed for the occasion and the wife prepared a wonderful dinner. After they'd enjoyed their meal, the wife decided to give him , "Dessert," and went under the table. She was going to town, he had his head back, completely relaxed, when all of a sudden, she had a seizure. She'd not presented with a seizure and her meds had been regulated for quite some time. Mid stroke, it hit her and she'd bit down, clenching and gnashing her teeth. He tried to back up but she had a firm hold on his manhood. He said it was so excruciating that he didn't even think, when he began stabbing her in the head, with his fork. He just wanted her off. They both required several sutures.
I bet that was his last, huh?

14 comments:

Rob K said...

Like the man said, love hurts...a whole lot in some cases.

.Ophelia. said...

oh my!
I regrettably admit that I laughed my face off for a bit imagining the scenario... whoops

xoxo

Jonathan said...

What a dumbass! Next time, Butterfingers, get a freakin' nonstick griddle and you won't have to worry about losing your grip OR scorching hot oil on the woman kind enough to be polishing your putter.

That kind of ignorance and clumsiness just patently offends me.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Rob K, I can only imagine, in this case. Certainly, regardless of a bite on the wanker...love is quite painful. I've decided to spare myself.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Ophelia, a tad bit of a painful story, eh? I can feel it and I don't have one, well last I checked. I keep gaining weight and I won't be able to see down there. I gained 3 lbs.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Jonathan, dammit you tell 'em. The nerve of that idgit. The audacity of that clumsy inconsiderate son of a bitch. We must have modern cookware, if we are to have safe sex, right? Polishing a putter is a lost art form, we will surely lose, if this continues. Dammit, I think this could be something I should write my Senator about. You should write yours too.

Nothin' says lovin' like a finely polished putter, huh? *giggle*

CanadianSwiss said...

Just imagining that scene made me burst into laughter!

I guess they've learned their lesson. Or maybe not. Some like it "hot". LOL!

brotherray said...

OMG! HAHAHAHA! What a story! What a scene! I think if I were a man (after reading that) my stuff would go into hiding for a while, or...or....or I'd be wondering how I could get a bottle of Dilantin at the bedside. That ER seizure story reminds me of patient who had a lost dildo in the lower colon! The couple drove over 140 miles to be seen at our ER so they could avoid their hospital. One of em was a town commissioner or something like that. HAHAHAHA - ooooooo the trouble we can get into during the heated moments of our lives!

Babs Bitchin said...

CS,For sure, some like it hot. Now, you and X be careful, I know how wild and crazy you two cooky cooks are.

Babs Bitchin said...

Brotherray, yes the turtle head would not be popping out, huh?
Notice, I didn't say why I didn't work at the hospital, you know what happened the last time, hahaha! But if anybodies seen or heard the strange too, I know you have. Nothing worse than a lost dildo, huh? Damn! hahaha!

Webmiztris said...

that story is fucking PRICELESS!!

Jonathan said...

Nothin' says lovin' like a finely polished putter, huh? *giggle*

Well, there's not much I would NOT do for a woman if she's kind enough to slob the knob for me!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Webmiztris, I know it! But more importantly, glad to see you out and about. Hope you're feeling better. "Pussywhipped" rocks!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Jonathan, never date a woman who won't service your equipment. It speaks volumes, to her persona, at least I believe. She's probably rather selfish and it's just not right. Now, remember this and if you do any online dating, make sure it's a prerequisite, hahahaha!!