Dec 8, 2007

Commentary; The Reason for the Season/To The Point!!!


Megan Meier's Mother, holding her pictures

Have you followed the story about Megan Meier, who hung herself, after a purported fake guy/fake profile, reeled her in as a love interest and then cruelly blew her off? ABC News Story

Let me make it very clear, how I stand on this issue. I think what Lori Drew did was completely and utterly appalling. People want to string this woman up and have listed her as the "Most Hated Woman in America." Yes, her actions are reprehensible. But is she really responsible for Megan Meier hanging herself? Is it really fair to place that upon her? Of course, we always want to assign blame, and we are most certainly of a "Sue 'Em" mentality. But I must ask, is it really fair, is she really responsible for a little girl, who'd been in therapy, years before because she'd said she was suicidal? Is she truly responsible for her ultimate death... a death by her own hand?

Lori Drew states it's not her blog, she didn't write it. On all accounts, it reads to me as authentic, what do you think? While I would side with her and her dilemma, simply from her text, the name of the blog,
*"Megan Had It Coming," is plainly wrong, more than the word wrong can interject or define and tends to sway me, to truly dislike her. I am left wondering? What do you think, did Lori Drew, the woman behind the fake MySpace profile, write the blog?
*The actual text, the original post is no longer there. I have excerpts from that post at the bottom of this post.


Here's one, rather cruel take on the story from Scared Monkeys;

Internet Cruel Intentions: 13 Year Old Megan Meier Commits Suicide After Cruel, Sick MySpace Hoax (Josh Evans)


There are sick acts that occur on the internet and then there are others that go beyond words and logic. We always warn children and teens that there are consequence to their actions. In the case of adults … there is no excuse. The following account is one of the most depressing and heinous acts of cyber-bullying and internet fraud against a teen ever. The tragedy that followed, almost makes the story impossible to read. However, everyone should and most read it and beware of those that would be such cowards on the internet to pretend to be someone they are not and to harass others. In this case the resulting tragedy was suicide.

A 13 year old girl, Megan Meier, committed suicide by hanging herself due to the insensitive and cruel actions of an adult who perpetrated a cruel hoax. 13 year old Megan Meier, who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, thought she was talking on MySpace to a boy her own age named Josh Evans.

Josh Evans never existed … he was a hoax!!!

The story that follows becomes one of the most insensitive and vicious hoaxes ever done on the internet. Especially when one considers that adults took part in it against an unsuspecting minor. The result is the death of a 13 year old.

DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. (AP)— Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her.

Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel.

The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan’s.

The parents of Megan Meier hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site, MySpace, will be prosecuted and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet. This was the actions of adults, not children or teenager. Adults! These people should be prosecuted to the full extent of whatever law can be used.

“But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile,” she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.

The story gets even worse as the newspaper, St. Charles Journal, who first ran with this story then protected the identities of the adultswho drove a 13 year old over the edge to hang herself. The blogosphere and internet community became incensed and outed those responsible for the death of Megan Meier. KUDOS to those on the internet that outed those responsible. No one, especially an adult should be allowed to hide behind anonymity when there is a death … NO ONE!!!

Commentary

It gets even uglier, when people, such as blogger, Douchebags Reunite, outs Lori Drew by calling her a "Murderer," and lists the womans address. Of course, I think thoughtless and arrogant people, like this Vietnamese tard, need Bitchslapped. Bring it, you wanna be socialite. Your tag line of, "Being stupid has never been this cool..." speaks volumes. I'm certainly glad you are not in complete denial as to your own mental state and you do realize you are the Queen of Douchbags, you thoughtless whore monger? Why do you feel the need to stir the Pot of Pain? Is it really necessary to say such cruel things?

Tis the Season for What???

More Babz Commentary

Did We Cut Off Our Nose To Spite Our Face???

We have children, sometimes it isn't planned but for many, it is the prospect of having a family, that is our goal. As well, I do not believe we think through, the full magnitude of what parenting, the actual job of it, if you will, really entails.

I will try not to jump on the soapbox but women, in their/our quest for equal rights and a wish to enter the work force, to make as much money as our male counterpart, have a serious career and live noteworthy lives, in many instances, have allowed their parenting to become a second rate lifestyle/situation. But Babz what the hell are you talking about?

Here, let me spell it out for you; We work[women] long hours, holding key positions. We strive to be the very best, proving that, oh yes, we can do anything and everything a man can do. And you damn right, we can and let me say this, we should be paid the same wage, as men. We still struggle for this equality and even I have been discriminated against because I lacked a glans. If we can't, however, do that job with the same gusto, if we can not perform that job, i.e., gaff that pole, pull that fire house, carry that equipment because we do have physical differences, from men, we should not and I repeat, " we should not be paid for that job, the same wage as the man who can climb that pole to install telephone wire, etc." Therein lies the joke and I'm not laughing

But Babz, how does this all have any impact on or anything to do with this MySpace thingy?

This Holiday Season, I have a few things, I'd like you to consider. Thus far, we have, for one, lost touch with reality, as to what "The Reason For The Season," is all about. How did this happen? And Babz, really, how does this too, apply to what you are talking about?

We have spoiled, for lack of a better word, our children, most likely out of guilt, for not being there, with expensive gifts. You could never again, get away with giving your son/daughter, that one gift set of the hat, scarf and mittens or their favorite music CD, along with a book, yada yada yada. It's keep up with the Jones and Smiths. Get my drift? No, you will go out this year and buy them a Wii, PC, Xbox, Playstation and we will spend thousands, if not several hundred dollars in an appeasement of our guilt. Sure we want to give our kids the world and I felt the shame, have a real distaste and anxiety up the wazoo, at Christmas time because as a single Mom, I couldn't pull the money out of my keester to buy each of my three sons, all those expensive gifts that Bobby and Mary down the street were getting and flaunting.

The days of crocheting a hat and mittens, as your gift, are gone. Right in the garbage went our values and beliefs, the very principle behind that reason for the season. You'll also find, in that garbage, values and beliefs concerning how we rear our children with even the most kindergarten of instillment; Do unto others as you would have done to you. This is big, huge and not without a universal magnitude.


Bullies have thrived for ages, this is actually nothing new. But if you'll remember and I'm speaking mainly to you Baby Boomers, the bullies were so outnumbered. It was usually that kid from the broken home, who lived in that run down house, with the mean dog. For the most part, it wasn't a pack of guys/girls, as it is now, out to utterly destroy anyone who doesn't fit into their mold of the haves and the have nots, the beautiful and not so beautiful. Our children have become vicious, vindictive and very mean. It is going on, right under our noses. You have purposely, looked the other way.

The American Dream Becomes A Myth/Lie


Somewhere, along the lines, we didn't instill the values and principles, trickled down through the ages. We left out the beliefs and life altering perceptions of understanding, of that basic premise, to treat others as you want to be treated. In our post Dr.Spock era, in that behavioral science of treating our kids with respect(and no spankings) and honoring them as kids with opinion, we left out the most elementary of rules; Respect...respect for others, respect for life and liberty, respect for adults, respect for ourselves, respect and value for material things and I could, quite seriously, go on forever.

How did this happen? That answer is two fold, I believe. Quite often, we have old school Dad's who are groping to understand our journey to be independent women. We assert ourselves, as "That Girl," with mixed emotion cause when we grow up, we wanna be that girl who has it all. We want a career, family(2.5 children), that beautiful 4 bedroom house, that SUV, credit cards, 52 inch flat screen t.v., computer in every room, beautiful clothes cause by God, we will not wear Walmart stuff, only Ann Taylor suits and drive a Lexus. Yes, we want it all. But our mothers were on the cusp of this new wave, new age thinking and in turn taught our men that, they work, come home and the wife does the cooking, cleaning and raising of the children. So, we work, run the kids to soccer practice, try to keep the house up all the while, making that instant dinner, you know the one that comes frozen, in a bag? We stopped sitting at the table for dinner, we're so rushed to get it all done. We are juggling so much, we don't even know our own children. Yes, because of that deviated perception of the American Dream, gone awry, we must work to maintain it and we've become that two income family, a necessity just to keep all those balls in the air.

Can you guess, just who it is, that suffers the consequence of our distorted dreams? Can you guess, who is sacrificed, inevitably raised by a system that is not working, i.e., our schools, T.V., Internet? Yes, it is our children, who from an early age, are placed in daycare, cared for by people who really don't love your children but handle them appropriately, if you're lucky, to just do their job. Once they are old enough, we feel it is the job of the school to teach them everything and we think they are getting all they need, at school. We allow them to watch, more and more violence, sexual content and learn false values from T.V. and on the Internet. Yes, we're just glad they're occupied, so we have a minutes peace, to fold the laundry. We omitted sitting and teaching them, reminding them to strive to be good people and as I mentioned before, to only treat others as we want to be treated, especially with regards to respect and a charitable heart.

I could place the full blame of this on the Mother but that would be a half truth. Yes Dad, you just love being able to come home, park your new Hummer in the driveway, walk in the door, to a fairly quiet house cause your kids are out or they're busy, in a Chat room, IMing their friends and you're able to get your dinner, put your feet up and watch Jon Stewart on your Flat Screen. Yea, you mow the lawn once a week and trim the shrubs, hopefully take the trash out which affords you the inalienable right to run the remote and watch what you want on T.V. cause you are the King of the Castle. Did your Dad teach you this? Back then of course, your Mom may have stayed home or at most, she worked a little part-time job, the beginnings of our assertion, as women. You heard Dad make the statement, "No wife of mine is gonna work." He eventually folded his cards, in the name of progress but still had the belief, handed down that, he didn't do dishes or laundry, "Oh hell no, men don't do dishes. That's womens work, son"

We're all mixed up, in this foggy American Dream. We've lost touch with what's important, especially in regards to our children, We need to seriously look at this. If we don't we will continue to have mass killings, such as what has just happened in an Omaha, Nebraska Mall and children, so distraught, not able to be comforted by their parents, for whatever reason, as the suicide, I've mentioned earlier.

Before it is too late, we need to look at our own values and beliefs, especially those we are passing down to the next selfish, greedy, plastic generation, we'll fondly call, "Generation Fake."

Could you possibly give yourself and family, the gift of assessing these ideas and principles, wrought with wrong? This Holiday Season, give your children, one thing, if nothing else, the wisdom that there is a Reason for the Season and maybe make a New Years resolution, to take your job and responsibilty as a parent, as seriously as it commands.

Oh and never be afraid to say Merry Christmas!!

Also...
Some good ol' fashioned parenting. We need more of this, I do believe. See, now that mine are grown, I can see the err of my ways. No, I'm not a know it all, I can just have lived and learned...most of the time...

Issac's Dad busted him smoking Pot. He'd gone to great lengths to acquire this gift, now listed on Ebay, here, and is now allowing Issac to reap what Pot seeds, he has sewn. Of course that's a play on words but I think he's trying to parent. How do you feel about it? From the Ebay listing...

Here’s the deal:

So I spent who knows how many hours of my life trying to get “Guitar Hero 3” for the Nintendo Wii for my 15 year old son who has been begging for it since he was born (well not really but he’s wanted it for awhile). So after waiting in lines and going into every game store in the city over the last 2 weeks (practically being laughed at when I asked for guitar hero 3) I finally got lucky and got one at EB Games (they just got a shipment of them 25 minutes before I walked in!).

So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Xmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn’t wait to spread the jubilance to my son.

Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what to I find? My innocent little boy smoking pot in the backyard with 2 of his delinquent friends.

Now I know santa applies the “naughty or nice” paradigm to determine who gets what on Christmas. My son (Isaac) hasn’t exactly been Mother Teresa this year (he got suspended for fighting in the spring, among other things) but I thought I could still justify getting him this present. Maybe it would make him stay home more and “rock out” on this fake guitar thing. He pretty much spends all his free time at his friend’s house playing it anyways (while high on marijuana, I would imagine).

Anyways, I am now finding it hard to justify rewarding him with this gift after he so greatly disappointed me. I know smoking a joint isn’t the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the auction. You will have to be very convincing. I am an elementary school teacher and I know that rewarding bad behavior is just asking for more of the same…

After I caught him getting high on my patio I did the typical yelling, screaming, kicking out the friends, etc… but I had not decided on a suitable way to punish him. As of the time of me writing this, he does not know I got him Guitar Hero 3. I will show him the auction once it is posted and we can watch it finish together. Sort of a “Father-Son bonding experience”. While I doubt this will keep him from ever smoking pot again, I think it will make him think twice before doing illegal (well I think pot is still illegal in Canada) drugs on my property.

I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo. Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing With the Stars. These games are in stock everywhere I go, and I know he will just love them.

Merry Xmas Isaac. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. –Father.


*

EXCERPTS:

I’m Lori Drew

It’s time I dropped the charade. Yes, I made this blog. Yes, I’m Lori Drew.

My daughter had nothing to do with this. Everyone needs to leave her alone. None of you can possibly know her involvement, and none of you can possibly know what she’s gone through. She’s just a kid. She doesn’t deserve these brutal verbal attacks. Please stop.

Now that Mr. Banas has made public the announcement that there will be no charges filed against me or my family, I feel it is time to speak out about this tragic affair. I cannot count on any media organization to fairly represent my story, as they have grossly misrepresented and sensationalized the story so far. So, I must present my case here, on the blog that has been my only outlet.

You don’t understand what the last two years have been like, living in this town, dealing with these people. When we came here, the Meiers seemed like a great family with whom we could form a friendship. Tina sold us our house and our little girls became fast friends. It was typical. Sleepovers and vacations and events in the community. The girls were inseparable….

But things turn sour and it is necessary to create a fake MySpace page to keep the Meiers girl at bay. Something is needed to distract her. Things quickly spin out of control.

Megan was screaming at Josh for answers on who he had been talking to: she wanted to know who ratted her out so she could take out revenge on them, too. I shared Megans messages with everyone involved and encouraged everyone to stand up against her and not take her crap anymore.

Instead, once the word got out about Megan, so did all her romantic replies, as well as a few secrets and the MySpace crowd ganged up on her.But I didnt realize that this group would react that way. I expected a certain amount of bullying, and I was OK with it. I wanted Megan to get a taste of what she had been dishing out this whole time. But I didnt want it to go as far as it did. Its true that the slut and fat references came out of what I shared. And by the time I was done with work on that day, the bullying against Megan had progressed pretty far. I had heard about the “better off without you” message and thats when I told everyone to cool it. Megan had been punished enough, and I was satisfied that she would think twice before bullying or manipulating anyone again. I don’t know who wrote that “better off without you” message.






5 comments:

Miz UV said...

Wow, there's a lot here. I was lucky to be able to stay home with my kids for the first 10 years, but I don't think that's the only way. I see good parents who both work and use daycare, so I don't want to make a sweeping judgment. I think if one parent can stay home, even if it means some material sacrifices or loss of career opportunities, it's probably a good idea. For sure here in the O.C. materialism is king, and it's sick. People have so much and are focused only on more more more.

As far as the Megan thing, I do wish there had been a criminal law in place to use against Lori Drew, but perhaps there will be a civil suit for harassment or whatever. There is way too much bullying on the internet, and probably kids shouldn't be on at all. Who decided that 13 was the right age for kids to join these sites anyway? Maybe MySpace should be ONLY for kids, and anyone over 18 thrown out.

I don't agree with harassing Lori Drew or sending hate/death messages, but I understand the frustration. This is what happens when the legal system is inadequate. Plus there are always going to be assholes looking for a reason to be assholes.

As much as I think Lori is a piece of shit, I have a tiny bit of sympathy in this way: parents are told over and over and over again that they MUST stay involved and hover over their kids' lives (the "helicopter mom" syndrome). We are warned of dire consequences if we don't micromanage our children and their activities and relationships. We're supposed to know all their friends, or OH MY FUCKING GOD they might end up smoking a joint or having a beer with that Bad Kid. You know? So I can see how Lori might have thought, well, I need to go online and see what Megan is saying about my kid. I totally can relate to wanting to do that. And then it got out of control.

Anyway, I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Babz!

Xmichra said...

i don't know, i had never heard of this before. But i guess it would be under the same precident on if a teacher or a shop keeper or whatever other kind of adult told some kid off daily and the kid killed themselves. Does that make them murderers?

I really don't know where i would place my chips...where the law is concerned. On the one hand you just can't blame others for a suicide. Also, how the heck are you going to control fake ID's in the web world?? The internet was BORN for this, and in all actuality parents and media and everything else have been talking about this kind of thing all the time. Identity fraud isn't a new thing. And people who are assholes aren't new either. So I would tend to think that Megan had very poor coping skills and did something stupid. Does that mean that the bullying was warranted? No. But if this was continuous, where was the parent? You openly admit that you have a depressed ADD child who is somehow making time to clear her mind for myspace. DUH. It has to be for a boy (or a girl, but i am not arguing that right now). So where were the questions and the monitoring? Do we just leave our children alone on the internet to face what ever is in there? We as parents know the very devistating truth that there are thousands of fake ID's and behind them are preditors of many natures. So where was the monitoring of that?

Sorry, that may be cold. But that's how I see it.

~Babz~ said...

Miz UV,I agree with you and I do realize that some parents do make it work, do an excellent job and their children do grow up to become productive citizens. I suppose I am addressing those that struggle and unfortunately have to cut corners, as there's only 24 hours in the day to get it all done and I see more and more, parents are not spending time teaching values and beliefs. It is self evident in the way kids treat their elders, teachers and those in authority.

Yes, what Lori Drew did was wrong and there should be a criminal law, somehow applied. What she did was, if nothing else morally wrong. I too understand the frustration, hurt, pain and out and out disregard for another human being feelings. She is a piece of shit but to hold her accountable for someone taking their own life, as brutal as her actions were, is just somehow unfair.

My friend, I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season and know the blessings from on High.

~Babz~ said...

Xmichra, extremely fair assessment.

You mentioned "coping Skills." I do believe that Megan should have been able to go to her parents, had a closer relationship with them? If she had that good relationship with her parents, she could/would have gone to her parents for support. Inevitably she harbored these terribly painful thoughts and feelings, alone. I can not and will not blame her parents either, as a decision to kill one's self is ultimately a personal one but I do think we should live and learn from this. We should ask ourselves, as parents; Can my child come to me, under every and any circumstance, for support, unconditional love and understanding? Yes, live and learn, huh? Hold the Princess tight, ok?

Xmichra said...

no, i don't blame the parents either. Like i said, it is a completely selfish act (suicide) and one made by the person... not others.

for me, i suppose it's different because i hear of parents who had no idea that thier children were depressed or angry before they had killed themselves. But in this cade you have a parent who was aware of the depression, the ADD... but wasn't monitoring the internet use.

To me (i know i keep saying that) i feel like people should know better. The internet is more dangerous then any back aley, and more ambiguous and annonymous then any place. And still we are allowing free access to our children to play.

Would you allow your depressed 13 year old girl to sit in a dark alley all by herself?? No.

So that is the big one for me. It screams danger and I honestly don't get why parents are neglecting this. Why they are not taking more time with this. Maybe they are also under the impression that "it won't happen to then" or "they would know if something was going on". But the poin tto all these stories (i hate to call this that) is that it DOES happen all the time, and you DON'T know unless you pay attention.

You know?