I was thanking my Mom for a recent B'Day card. She just turned 65 and I just turned 49. The following is an excerpt from an email I'd written to her. She stated that she didn't feel her age. She's a great grandmother, I a grandmother and neither one of us really fits the bill. Well, at least not as my Grandma did.
"I can't believe you're 65 either. I mean we still have a lot of runnin' 'round to do. Now, Grandma Kate seemed her age. She dressed the part nicely but I have no desire to wear hush puppies and roll my hosiery down around my ankles, oops don't forget to put that pin curl in before bed, you might wanna tape it down, huh? haha!
How things have changed, even the lingo. Something you might've heard years ago...
Dog gonnit, I left my rain bonnet in my old pocketbook, on top of the ice box at home. I'll have to go to the Beauty Parlor sooner but I'll make the appointment after General Hospital cause you know Doctor Bob has taken ill. That Miss Darla just fusses over him so and she has eyes for Dr.Bob too. She's just so wishy washy though. Personally, I think she'll get hitched to that skirt chaser, Dr. Jim.
Did you see the part, right after the Dinah Shore/Chevrolet commercial that that matchmaker, fussbudget, low down jezebel Corrine was cookin' up? What a fine kettle of fish and some white lies about Ginny. Oh that Dr. Bob is a catch and he's reminds me of that tall feller in the Righteous Brothers, what a catch. My daughter Betty Sue says she's gonna grow up and marry him. If she doesn't keel over, give up the ghost from her brothers cooties.
These kids today listening to that jazzed up junk music.Oh and you shoulda seen the way the Doctor was crooning, when he saw Ginny all dolled up. They were petting pretty heavy and is quite taken by her, isn't he now? I think he's gonna be her beau. Then yesterday, right after the Borax/Mule Team commercial Ginny and Dr. Bob were making kissy face, she just pined over him. He asked her to be his girl and right there and then, she had a spell. Fainted right into his arms. Then that dog gone Chock Full O'Nuts commercial comes on and I'm stuck singing the jingle all day, 'Chock full o'nuts is that heavenly coffee, better coffee millionaires money can't buy.'Oh and don't forget, Patsy Cline is comin on the Grand Ol' Opry tonite. I bought some Jiffy Pop, just for the occasion. Did you hear that new song, Honey? Made me cry, when I was sitting on the front stoop snappin beans.The Mister actually swept me off my feet the other night when we heard that song Pretty Woman, boy can he cut a rug when he's tippin the ol bottle. One swig and he thinks he's Tom Jones.
My husband was supposed to work on Sunday morning, can you imagine them asking him to work on a Sunday? He hates to miss Blonde & Dagwood and refuses to miss Ma & Pa Kettle. Of course, the Mister won't budge off the davenport when Abbott & Costello is on or that snockered Dean Martin. Well, he wants his cake and eat it too, now doesn't he, that dirty bird. But as long as I can watch my shows, you know, What's My Line, Gunsmoke, Gomer Pyle, Bonanza I'm happier than a pig in poo.
Well, I'm off to the A & P to pick up Karo Syrup and Corn Flakes for this gaggle of kids. My gosh, I saw that floozy, Mrs. Peppers, you know that divorcee that lives down the Avenue, when I was at the grocery. She was all gussied up, wearing red lipstick. Imagine, red lipstick at 2 in the afternoon, during the day for goodness sakes. I'd bet a wooden nickle she had on black panties and bra but you didn't hear that from me. My gosh you could see her knees with that short hem line. You can tell she's a trollop, a mile away but you didn't hear that from me either...Oh do you have my phone number? It's JE4-5516 it's not a party line can you believe that? Gotta run. Ronald McDonald's gonna be at that new plaza, I have to carry the brats there.See ya in the funny papers, tootles."