~Babz on Fire~

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-23T12:56:00.004-05:00

Howdy to all friends and family!! I apologize for not updating especially if you've come here and cussed me for doing diddly squat.

The truth of the matter is that I took over the care of my grandbaby, Jaxon. Need I remind you as to how consuming a newborn is? But he's a gift from God and I enjoy this lil love of my life.

Anywho, I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I pray you'll know the true pleasures and joy that good friends and family bring and realize that, it along with laughter is the secret to life.

What's on your Menu???

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

The Middle Wife

2009-09-28T13:09:00.001-04:00

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs.. I know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Quote of the Day

2009-09-28T12:53:00.000-04:00

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

Courtesy of Tami

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Patrick Swayze RIP

2009-09-15T10:26:00.000-04:00

Patrick is/was and will forever be family.

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

For Baby Brianna

2009-09-11T13:52:00.002-04:00

An individual that abuses a child, mentally or physically, in any way is a Punk Bitch!!!

My fists are clenched in rage. And I don't know what to do with this anger and pain. This video was brought to my attention via a Facebook friend. This happened many years ago but I've just now found out about this particular little baby.

I must warn you it is beyond graphic, beyond heinous. I challenge you, not to walk away, not to ignore it running back to the comfort of your latte' drinking, cotton wearing, wheat bread world. But I ask you to watch and post or comment letting these Cocksuckers know that we will never tolerate this behavior.

WTF is going on? As of late, I am the main person to care for my 2 month old grandson. Quite often, as I feed him his bottle, I read "People You'll See in Hell." There's a disturbing number of this form of abuse going on. I do not understand it.

Now, I've lost my cool, kicked some ass, actually done a tad bit of heinous activity myself. My own family and friends, many of you who read this know that I am known for my bad temper. Well, that is to say before I went to Prison and learned all kinds of behavior modification. But for the life of me, I could never fathom, ever hurting a child such as these motherfuckers have.

Brianna, the lil' baby in this video was beaten, tortured and raped CONTINUOUSLY ...all before she succumbed at the age of 6 months. How could they? God help me, I just don't understand it.

Yes, it takes a special breed to hurt a child as these people did. I do hope they've not had it easy in Prison and I can't wait for God to get a hold of them!! All my faith must be applied to this and maintained that there is a God in heaven who will right these wrongs and if nothing else, even though they think they have it hard in Prison, they will know the pain of their transgressions in the next life!

If you watch this video, I hope you'll post it and/or place at the top of your post something that clearly states how you feel about child abuse. Do it in hopes that some predator/child abuser/piece of less than human garbage just might happen to cruise by your site.

Warning; Graphic Video!!!

Facebook Media Causes; Baby Brianna [Hang Child Killers]

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

The G-Ma Life #3

2009-09-01T13:57:00.006-04:00

Hey Kids,

I've been the "Booty on Duty" these days, meaning that I've been pulling G-Ma duty so my DIL can work. My God, I see why women stop having children, well, most of the time, at least by their early 30's. I mean it's exhausting, this up every 3 hours for feeding time thingy.

(I do so apologize to any one that considers me a friend as I have certainly been less than. On top of all this, I am working diligently on a secret piece which I am quite consumed by. Please forgive???)

Now, Jaxon, my lil "*Bumby" as I call him, is a world famous grunter. Yep, he grunts and stretches, stretches and grunts, (loudly)all daggone night. So much so that I rarely sleep the entire time. Yes, it's a clear cut case of mixed emotions, this babysitting business, I tell you. It's similar to your MIL going over a cliff in your new Ferrari. But if the truth were known, I can't think of a better time in my life than the time spent with my lil Bumby Boo.

Now, I do realize that we all think our children and then our grand children are the cutest of them all, out weighing all pageant contestants and we convince ourselves of such. I can remember other mothers touting how cute their babies were as I thought to myself,

"OMG bitch your child looks like an alien outcast. He's got a flat head not to mention he looks an awful lot like you and you're as ugly as a poodles ass. Sorry!!!"

Of course, in my youth, I thought my babies were the shit too. But now I can look back and see decisively and I shall put this as delicately as I can, you know just in case they read this; "They were all pretty...ugly, mwahahaha!!"

I can also view them, my sons at least, in an unbiased form, meaning that although they've all grown in to fairly good looking men, they're not the best looking fellas to walk down the Pike. Far from ugly though, each and every one of them shines, if nothing else because they are all charmers, especially the youngest who can charm the panties off a Princess.<--(A Babzism)

The point is, that in my wise ass wisdom (I can't call it maturity as I don't think I've grown up yet?) I suppose I am able to decipher "the good, the bad and the ugly," in my loving family. (Now, don't get it F'd up. I can also look in the mirror at myself and realize that, although my Mama raised no fool, I'm nothing to write home about nor am I the sharpest peanut in the turd)<--(Another Babzism)

So, without further ado, I'll say that , Jaxon aka Bumby(Bill's son) and Austen aka Lil' Man(Waylon's son)are in the running to not only break my heart but the hearts of many women to come who'll follow in my footsteps. God help them!!!

Unfortunately, Lil' Man lives in Iowa and I'm here in N.Y. What a charmer he is though, I mean he and Jaxs will take the world by storm! So, in getting back to the point, I do so firmly believe that Jaxon has got to be the most pleasant child I've ever come across. And I am enjoying him immensely.

A perfect day, in my perfect world would be to have all my grandbabies by my side. Until then, I guess I'll simply keep them all in my prayers and continue to ask God to place His Angels around them all.

In further News...I was just on Facebook and I quote myself as it is the sum of my parts as of late;

OMG Tami, I'm so old these days, I've been farting dust and crapping cobwebs. But I'm a trooper, I just tuck my tits back into my belt and keep on keepin' on!

If you're my age, you'll feel my pain, lol! Then, my oldest son, Lee had this question on his status;

1 question, 1 chance, 1 honest answer. You can ask me 1 question (to my inbox) Any question, anything no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch. You'll get the answer within 48 hours! But I dare you to post this on your status an see what people ask you
Email Babz Here

I thought it a neat question and I afford this opportunity to you, any and all to ask me this question. Yes, I do believe I have a false sense of popularity, ahem hahaha!!!

*Bumby is short for "My Lil' Bumblebee," and here's why; He's beginning to get chubby like a lil bumblebee but they say that bumblebees should not be able to fly because they are aerodynamically a mess. Perseverance and they fly!

"It is a myth that bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly... that they can't fly, well, that's a fallacy since you can watch them fly with your own eyes. Interesting stories behind the myth though.

Since the myth became propogated by the media and general public with no facts to support it, for the longest time people just couldn't understand how these big fat aerodynamically impaired insects could get off the ground using such proportionally itty-bitty wings. Finally, scientists realized that there was much more involved, and in the past few years much headway has been made in understanding the bumblebee flight phenomenon. It has something to do with the way they use their wings and the lift generated by vortices that swirl behind the moving wing edges.

Here is a neat link abount a researcher who utilized lasers to study bee flight: http://physicsweb.org/article/news/5/10/9

An interesting thread discussing the origin of the myth: http://www.math.niu.edu/~rusin/known-math/98/bees

Brief description of insect flight and how lift helps them fly: http://www.howstuffworks.com/news-item223.htm"

Source; Dr. Kirsten

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Note To Self

2009-08-19T14:51:00.007-04:00

Time Stamped 8/19/09

Colin Speta

Unfortunately, I see his body, stuck in the water under the bridge. I've never been under this bridge but can see it looking up I believe the bridge to Mayville.

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Mom Gets Tasered

2009-08-15T00:03:00.003-04:00

Yet another case of Police brutality...

Mom Tasered in front of kids ‘posed no threat’ (MSN Article)

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

The G-Ma Life #2

2009-08-10T15:46:00.006-04:00

Believe...

My newest Grandbaby, Jaxon, well we think the one can of formula he had, out of the norm may have caused the worst diaper rash I've ever seen in my 50 years on this earth.

It was so bad that we took him to the Doctor only to be given a prescription of Bactroban. Now, I don't want to say this too loud but I do have some med experience and was already using this cream on him. My daughter-in-law did not know the name of the cream when the doctor gave her the script but she was too afraid to say we'd been using it already anyway.

I had tears in my eyes at one point as I wiped his lil' bottom and it bled. He shook in pain, it broke my heart. So, I set about doing what I could to treat it. We were rinsing his bottom off instead of using wipes. We were bathing him and allowing his butt some much needed air time to no avail.

The most important thing I've learned in these 50 years is nothing is too big or too small to pray about. I began to pray...

Back when I was in Prison and having terrible nightmares I'd learned to pray every night. They were bad but me waking up fighting, yelling and carrying on, well needless to say, my celly wasn't real happy about it. So, I'd gone to the prison Chaplain for her to minister to me on these bad dreams. At her suggestion, she told me it would be a good idea to read even a small bit of scripture before retiring. I refer to it now as, "feeding my soul" a snack before bed. She also suggested that I pray before going to sleep.

Well, it worked and I've been doing it every since. No more nightmares, not one. I often fall asleep praying as I did just the other night. I had one of those nights where I think I am awake when I am sleeping and vice versa. Whether I was alseep, is debatable but a couple of hours had passed when I was given the words, I do believe from on High. I was told to go to Jaxon's father and tell him that if he wanted his sons bottom to heal, he would get on his knees and ask.

"Good gravy Lord, but I'm comfy," I remember thinking if I didn't say it out loud. I followed the instruction and went out into the living room where I found my son, Jaxon's Dad, quietly watching T.V. and turned sideways looking at his computer on the end table. He's a night owl as are all my boys.

Now, let me set the pace here; I had religion shoved down my throat big time as a child thus I have done my best not to do the same thing. I have convictions these days that I do not instruct them enough but I do kind of tip toe around it all, not skirting but being mindful of not preaching but sharing. As well, I do not believe I've ever said anything such as this to any one of my sons.

Yes, it was a somewhat whimsical look/quizzical squint, not mockingly but questioning as I told him, "God told me to tell you that if you want Jaxon's butt to get better, you need to get on your knees and pray." I realize now that it is most assuredly a testament to how we tend to repeat things messed up or the message gets changed but, hey, I was half asleep.

The next day, I slept in but when I got up, Halena, Jaxon's Mother exclaimed to me, "Have you seen your grandson's butt?" With one eye open, I stated that I'd not been at that end yet, half laughing. "Well, when you wake up, you'll have to see it."

Again, half asleep because of the rough night before, it took me a few, quite a few actually to gather my thoughts. Halena (DIL) had not heard that I'd delivered a message straight from The Big Guy as she slept the night before.

Several hours passed and Jaxon was handed over to me so his Mom and Dad could go outside to smoke. He was due for a diaper change so I readied myself for the whole affair, you know I got the water temp right on the sink, got a clean diaper, towel, Bactroban and so on. I swallowed hard and took his diaper off...

It was completely healed!!!

Briskly, bare butt baby in hand, I went to find my son. "Did you get on your knees and pray?," I asked, really already knowing the answer. He shot me a look like "well, of course I did" to which I stuck his sons butt in his face. "Look Billy, it's all better now, " I said like some sort of maniac...which I wear very well.

Yes, do have faith cause nothing is too big or too small if you only believe!

Everyone therefore who shall confess Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven (Mt 10:32,33).

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Great White Appetite: Surprise Attack

2009-08-08T23:44:00.001-04:00

I would have shit my knickers and cried like a little girl...

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Friday Funnies

2009-08-07T15:39:00.004-04:00

Yea, It's Stupid...

...And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead men and said -

"You are all to be allocated a method for transportation around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."

The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave, were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge."

The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said- "You were not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."

The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said- "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."

A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari.

There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying. "What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said,

"I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard."

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

The G-Ma Life #1

2009-08-07T15:30:00.009-04:00

I relished the moment, knowing full well it was to come to an end in just two days when I boarded the plane to go back home. This trip to Iowa was my first meeting with my grandbaby, Austen Cody, less than two years old/going on twenty...

Normally, he was running around like his ass was on fire but at the moment, this very minute, he sat calmly on my lap. His smile was huge and bright, dimples daring to speak the words he could not yet say.

He stared and studied my face, looking deeply into my eyes. I remember thinking he is gonna be a ladies man, like his Daddy, Waylon, when he grows up. The moment was surreal, calm, pleasing beyond words...

He then began to trace the lines of my lips with his little finger, ever so gently. It was so touching, my heart skipped a beat...

...and then his finger was unceremoniously rammed up my nose. With an impish but wise grin, he laughed like hell and took off.

Sayin' It Like It Is and Keeping It Real Since 1959

Priceless

2009-08-05T16:46:00.006-04:00

Recently Michelle Obama...
went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter; $0.00 dollars

Having Michelle Obama serve your soup; $0.00 dollars

A homeless person who is receiving government funded meals while taking a picture of the first lady using his $300 Black Berry cell phone.. Priceless

Hey, I'm just sayin'!!!

Thankz Tami!!!

Monkey Make Out

2009-07-27T16:38:00.003-04:00

I stole this link from my good friend Sarcastic Bastard, the funniest MoFo I know! I do hope there will be forgiveness. But it's so damn cute I wanna watch it again and again and again...

And All That Jazz...

2009-07-27T15:42:00.003-04:00

I do believe I posted this first video before but God Bless America this is some funny shit!

Good Cop Bad Cop
You have never seen good cop bad cop played like this before! Who can blame the guy for talking??? :)

When Good Bananas Go Bad
A guy in a huge banana suit has a little fun while he is on the job! The reaction of people when he moves is priceless.

Really Good Gymnast
This gymnast is really good at the uneven bars. I would be willing to bet that you have never seen anything like this before! :)

So kids, I've been getting in a lot of G-Ma time,(that's Grandma for those of you who are not hip or privy to the OPP. Wait, WTF was I talking about?) Yes Siree, Mr Jaxon, my grandbaby is as handsome as they get. Not even his own father was that cute when he was born.

It's so cool to be able to enjoy babies when their tiny and not the older, little temperamental bastards I so fondly cuss out several times a day. Oh yea, word on the street is that I am Mafia G-Ma and not to be toyed with. On any given day, I've been quoted, yelling, "Ya sons a bitches, keep it up and I'll cloud up and rain all over your asses!!!

I said I wouldn't grow up/old to become this but alas...

Yea, so I pretty much putter around the house, farting dust, crapping cob webs and creating chaos, it's my middle name. I overheard my boys talking, they don't think I know but I can't wait to go to the Nursing Home. I'm gonna play Spades and talk Smack while I do it. SNAP go the cards! I'm gonna get caught smoking in my room whilst entertaining some old geezer. Yep, I'm ready to go!

My Three Big Bastards

Jerusalem of Gold

2009-07-17T14:21:00.004-04:00

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.
One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the
hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to
the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of
David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and
says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country,
this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money
if you sit there with a 'Star of David' in front of you, especially when
you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably
give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to
the other beggar with the cross, saying "Moishe, look who's trying to teach
the Goldstein brothers about marketing.

Evian Babies

2009-07-10T14:44:00.001-04:00

Way Too Cute...

"As My World Breeds"

2009-07-03T15:35:00.007-04:00

The Soap Opera that unfolds in front of me, the story of my life is;

"As My World Breeds"

Yes, we have a new little one, Jaxon Aiden, who'll be coming home tomorrow(God willing). My son Bill, his father calls him, "Wee Bugger," as he is only 5lbs 4oz. He's perfect in every way though.

Weary from his participation, I presume, my son slept on the couch, a few short hours after staying up all night, unable to sleep in anticipation of Jaxon's birth. They had to be at the hospital @6am for the scheduled C-Section and I stayed with his other two kids, Lil' Bill & Samantha.

Before I was able to inspect him personally, I watched the video of Jaxon's birth, along with Sam. I cried like an imbecile, a blithering idiot, a goofball Grandma. Aw, such is my life.

Yes, it all came rushing back to me. The last child I gave birth to, my last son, Waylon, was 10lbs. 5oz., Jaxon weighing half of that. And so I'm quite sure that a baby that little just might fall out undetected. I can see me at the Supermarket, "Hey Lady, did you drop something?" Yes, my son was huge at 10lbs 4oz. and 23 inches long. He also had a full goatee and immediately asked me for the car keys.

I never walked the same after having Waylon but was always proud to say I had given birth "Naturally." One thing I learned though, after their father died and I began dating was to never tell that story and add, excitedly, "And guess what? I gave birth to him and didn't even have to have stitches."

I thank everyone for their comments and prayers alike. Jaxon, which by the way, I just love that name, is so damn cute with his little ears and lips, nose and toes, all ten of them. And I'm more than grateful that he is healthy. That is something of which in this family, we do not take for granted considering I have two grandchildren with Cystic Fibrosis.

God is good, every day, all the time and all though we've had many scary situations, times where faith is called into works, these two of my grandbabies, Kassandra and Austen aka, Lil' Man are basically healthy and happy.

I Am Grandma, HaHaHaHa!!!

(The Secret Part/Post)

Prayers Please???

2009-06-30T23:47:00.002-04:00

My Friends,

Well, if you're the praying sort, as I am, I could/should/would/will appreciate your prayers for tomorrow. My newest Grandbaby will be born tomorrow morn via C-Section.

Yes, the son that I currently live with, my middle son Bill and his wife will be welcoming "Jaxon Aiden" bright and early tomorrow. Now, I have all the faith in the world that all will be well but it never ever hurts for extra prayer and in fact I am a firm believer in the power of prayer.

Hahaha...and pray that I will get through it all. This Grandma gig is growing by the daily!!!

I Am...

2009-06-27T12:13:00.000-04:00

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

What Are You???

Re-Post; Sex Coupons

2009-05-27T14:47:00.000-04:00

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Sex Coupons

Don't be afraid to comment here, the CIA says this is a valid subject!
I am 48 years old. Yes, I'm an old Slut with a capitol "S" and I do not apologize. I started having sex, way back in 1971. I think this gives me a good idea, what the whole scenario is all about. It also has taught me a lot about how men/women operate, right? This post applies to all sexual preferences and it knows no boundaries. I do think monogamy is a wonderful thing and in this day and age, safe sex is the only way to go. That means, don't think that, that guy, who's just so cute, with that nice ass,, may not be infected or that chick doesn't have a disease, right. Don't be another statistic, wear a condom, if you've not got a history with this person, ok? Every single person, including myself, never thought it would happen to them. But this post is about having a good time. Nothing says lovin', like a chubby in the oven!

(Right click, save and print) (Do It!)
One thing I have learned, is you have to spice things up, sometimes, you know, to keep your man/woman from shopping at another store. Well, that and threatening their life, that they'll never live to remember their indiscretion or live to tell about it, if caught.
The other thing I learned, is, getting old, is a matter of compiling memories, good or bad. Hopefully, you have more good than bad. My wish would be that I live, at least a few more years, too and build and retain more memories. My demise would be to get Alzheimer's and not remember a damn thing. Then again, those with Alzheimer's often digress, back to their teens or when they were younger. Now that would be some cool shit, huh? But the big question is gonna be;

Have I lived?

I'd like to think I have had a long life, full of memories, enough for a book, anyway. But it comes down to building some really good memories.

I Double Dog Dare You!

I dare you to walk on the edge. I dare you to do something, you'd never dream of doing and I'm not talking about Bungee Jumping! Think out of the box. Think out of the norm or status quo.
Sometimes, it's even the smallest approach that will get him/her thinking. Do something that you've never done. Have sex somewhere unusual and be daring. Stop that missionary shit for one night. Get on that pony and ride. Be a trick rider. Ride backwards, holding onto his toes, then he can watch the whole thing. Most men, want Betty Crocker in the kitchen and a trained Prostitute in bed. Give it to him, I guarantee, he will not forget it.

Go out with a skirt and no panties. Your husband will be driven nuts, the sexual tension will be so thick, you can cut it with a knife.

Strip for him or surprise him when he comes home from work, dressed in a teddy or whatever. I've never heard of a man who complained that his wife wanted sex, when he came home from work. I've never heard a man say his wife was too demanding, always wanting sex.

Make a list of places, you want to have sex and try to mark off that list. I can't remember my exact list and I know I have not done them all, as one of them was to screw in a Castle in Ireland. Some were improv, such as having sex on the 33rd floor of the Washington Monument in D.C. or when I went into the walk-in freezer with that good-looking Latin Lover/Dishwasher at a restaurant I worked at. Good grief, he rocked my world but then he started stalking me, ranting about love. Who knew?
But I think the cleverest thing I ever did, was to give my husband, a book of coupons for Christmas. I had no money, as a young bride, staying home with my son. So, I cut and colored a whole book of pull outs for "A Blow Job on Demand." I honored ever coupon, no matter how daring it was, or how afraid I was of getting caught. He got that "Coupon Book" and a box of chocolate covered cherries, his favorite. Years later, before he died, he had told me, through all the years, that was the only gift he loved the most, the one most memorable. After the first coupon book, I'd ask him what he wanted for Christmas and he'd always answer, "you know what I want" and I gave him another coupon book. He then gave, recounted, exactly where he used every coupon and the whole scenario, as if it had happened just yesterday. He remembered, whipping out a coupon, he kept in his wallet. We were at the brand new movie, "Star Wars," in the balcony, all by ourselves. He remembered the time, he almost wrecked the car, as he had handed me a coupon, driving down the rode. We were riding down a back rode and as he neared a curve, my head got stuck in the steering wheel. "What a way to die," he exclaimed, a huge shit eatin' grin on his face. He remembered handing me a coupon, at a Jack in the Box, fast food restaurant and us going into the men's room, right then and right there, me on my knees. Or the time, we were driving from Virginia to New York, on the Interstate. I'd not known it at the time but he'd handed me a coupon and I was doing the dirty deed. All the while a Trucker was watching us and gave my husband a "Thumbs Up" and mouthed the words, "Lucky Bastard." He could recall, every single coupon and had the biggest smile and isn't that what love is, making your significant smile? Better yet, isn't it about the good memories? When you're old and gray, a memory might even start a fire. Those slow burning embers just might be rekindled, huh?

Be crazy, be slutty, be daring, be dirty cause they'll remember it longer than they'll remember you in your bathrobe, hair all screwed up. They'll recall the good times more than the bad, if...
"You Blow Their Mind!"

Lies Told by ~Babz~ at 9:47 AM

Birth On A Playground???

2009-05-19T15:15:00.000-04:00

From The Daily Telegraph

"A FILM clip made for the UK's National Health Service has drawn criticism for its graphic depiction of a schoolgirl giving birth in a playground while being watched by students.
The film's shocking content saw it pulled from video-sharing website YouTube, but it has since reappeared on the site in several forms.

The video clip was made for the NHS in a bid to cut the rising number of teenage pregnancies across the UK, and appears to show real footage shot on a mobile phone."

Warning: Video contains graphic content

New Orbit Suppositories

2009-05-14T15:30:00.004-04:00

I made these graphics a couple years ago. Am I the only one that thinks this is hilarious?

Fat Bastard

2009-05-08T13:48:00.005-04:00

For Sarcastic Bastard
(The Gatekeeper to the now famous Pet Museum);

A Fellow Bastard

Fat Bastard Fast Asleep

Below is a video of my cat, "Pooka" aka Fat Bastard. This was filmed in Pittsburgh but soon after we moved to Long Island. It was there and then that my world began it's tilt.

It was a warm summer night and Pooka knew he was scheduled for his Neutering, he'd over heard us talking. We tried our best to keep it on the down low. He must have heard or the lure of the nasty NYC Kitties was too much.

He howled and howled at the back door, much to my chagrin. The first opportunity he had, someone opened that door and off he went...never to be seen again.

I was and still am at a loss for my Fat Bastard. He was the only male in my bed for years. I have Charlie now to comfort me on these long lonely nights and guess what; It's all I need. I will become one of those cat ladies and Charlie is my second. Pooka will always be first.

Half Nekkid Thursday

2009-05-07T15:21:00.003-04:00

Commentary by Babsbitchin

2009-05-07T12:00:00.012-04:00

And the Headline reads...
Government to condemn land for Flight 93 memorial

PITTSBURGH — The government will begin taking land from seven property owners so that the Flight 93 memorial can be built in time for the 10th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks, the National Park Service said.

Read the Rest...

Commentary by Babs Bitchin...

We did it to the Native Americans and you'd think by now we'd have matured enough not to do it again. Now, the Government is going to take land for a memorial for Flight 93.

I imagine if I owned land and the Government was trying to hand me a song and dance, you know less than the value for my land, I'd be pissed and would stall too. Yes, I'd probably hold out, calling their bluff...but it has backfired, I do believe.

They will now take the land they want, unless I'm not catching on to the exact thinking and reasoning in this whole affair. And it's deplorable, sad and out and out outrageous.

In the first place, I will allow you to call me an asshole but I could never ever condone and sign my name to spending and I quote;

The seven property owners own about 500 acres still needed for what will ultimately be a $58 million, 2,200-acre permanent memorial and national park at the crash site near Shanksville, about 60 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

Yea, call me an asshole, whatever but I could never spend that kind of money knowing that, in this economy when you have people living in tent cities, barely making it with that little bit of food stamps, having to send your kids to school to get the free breakfast and lunch, seniors barely able to make it and I could go on till the flippin cows came home, how in the hell can you justify spending $58 million dollars on a memorial? I have a heart but damn, it is insanity at it's finest. Please explain it to me?

I read the news every morning. At least, at the very least, once a week, I read of someone who has killed his family and then himself because he's lost his job and about to lose his home. I read of another drug bust of some young kid and...

MTV, I hold you in contempt, oh yes I do. You've lied to our youth and you've single handedly caused the down fall of thousands of young men, especially young black men.

"OMG Babz, what in the hell did you just say???"

This is my blog and I will say what I damn well please and hopefully speak the truth. And And And don't f*n tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Let me tell you, I lived for several years in Garfield and East Liberty, right in the ghetto's of Pittsburgh. If that's not enough for you, I also lived in "Crack Hill," and "The Bottom" in Fredericksburg, Virginia, again, for years. Not enough? I lived around and scored my drugs in the ghetto's in 5 States. I have an educated opinion and have been in the trenches.

It's hard for anyone to get a job, not to mention young uneducated black men who already have one strike against them because of their color. They are brought up with the mindset that because they are black they'll have no chance in hell to make it in this world. But look at Obama, would ya please?

They spend a good portion of the day watching MTV and they see all the Brothers with their Bling, their fast cars and their faster women. And they begin to believe that it is the definition of a successful black man, a for real Gangsta. No, you ain't shit if you don't have it; It being the clothes, the shoes, the jewelry to say the least.

MTV's shows like "Cribs" are good on one hand as they show what you can have if you can achieve, usually as a Rapper. But video's set the standard. They are the catalyst, especially the ones that show life in the hood and how it's supposed to be.

So how does a young black man get all that stuff when he can't even get a job? He sells drugs, that's what. And the examples that are set are of living a "Thug Life", especially from video's where Gangsta Rap are concerned. And it's living a lie.

If you think I'm wrong, allow me to remind you that there are more black men in Prison for drug sales than just about anything else. If it's not for drug sales, it's for what I fondly call, "Crimes to Sustain."

Are you wondering what I'm talking about when I say "Crimes to Sustain"? It is a crime that is done to get what you have and I don't, what you have that I want to sell and sustain me or my lifestyle.

Go ahead, ask a black man why he's in prison and it's usually because he wanted a certain lifestyle he couldn't get any other way...or so he thought and was taught. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a desire to dress nicely and I believe you should dress for success. But dirty deeds will never be rewarded. Crime does pay but only for a minute. Why doesn't MTV teach that?

Why don't the video's show how it looks as they make you spread your cheeks and cough? Why don't the video's show how fucked up it feels to have to stand naked in a group when they do a Shakedown in Prison? And you ain't going to get to wear your bling in there when you become just another inmate who believed the hype, the lies and alibi's.

The Answer; An Incentive to Excel

$58 million dollars is a lot of money and so much good could be done with it. In memory of those that have died, those that were heroic that day, why not set up scholarships and grants that just might give someone, specifically minorities, a whole life of help. It's like the old adage, "Give a man a fish and he eats well for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats well all of his days," or something like that?

Yes, that's a whole lotta love that could be spread, $58 million. For those that face life heroically every day living in the ghetto's all across America, why not give them incentive to excel. I don't mean little $1000 scholarships, I mean send them to school; College, Universities, Vocational, all expenses paid.

Blacks across America are doing and behaving, going to prison for and paying the price of and for a mindset of little to no choices. The funny thing is that this could be changed with this incentive to excel. But it must start at home, in school and when the child is young. He's got to have a plausible dream, an attainable goal.

If a parent knows that they have a golden carrot, an opportunity afforded their children, they just might teach them that they have a chance. Right now misery and pain, seem to be passed down generation to generation. It's predisposition, a precursor for disaster, over and over. This could be changed...

Knowledge is power. The implication of it all, the proposition of it in it's entirety is endless. For a parent to be able to teach and tell their children that if he/she works very hard at getting good grades and staying in school, that they will have an amount of money set aside for them, specifically $58 million dollars, it will make a difference.

Do you even realize the difference this would/could make? Might you even surmise what a difference even half of that allocated money could do to really help? Let me just put it into perspective for you; Your crime rate will go down, the prison system will not be as over loaded as it is, your world as well as theirs will be a better place.

If I can see this, why can't they?

The Falling Man

2009-05-03T15:00:00.007-04:00

I was reading the article below about the rape of men from Clipmarks which I hit from StumbleUpon button. I can't remember exactly how I got on the subject of this whole thing with my 8 year old Grandson, Lil'Bill. I think I groaned out load and he asked what was wrong. I then went on to tell him a bit piece of the article.

I believe I said that they were raping these men in order to make them do things, specifically becoming a "Suicide Bomber."

(I questioned the validity of the article, was it true? If the act itself of homosexuality as well as rape[not sure about rape?] is punishable by death, how is it possible for it to be condoned as a recruiting tool used in their making of suicidal bombers. It does make sense, though it's just rather contradictory, don't you know?)

He looked at me puzzled and wanted to know more. I then explained the motive as to why they would kill themselves because of this being a "Holy War," we are fighting and I then said that it was the Muslim or Islam belief that upon their death they would be greeted by "72 Virgins"(Houri) in a place of paradise and that they wanted to redeem themselves.

It was somehow astounding to me, lil Bill's next question; "What Holy War?" I tried to explain a few things and found myself telling him about the World Trade Center bombing. I was equally astounded that he had no clue about the WTC attack of 9/11, isn't ignorance a bit of bliss? Should I have eluded his questions and allowed him to sit in the splendor of his youth? Ah, the irony of it all...

I couldn't really surmise that he did not know about the devastation that happened on 9/11. At that very moment in time, it was my day off from my Cook I job in Prison. I was exhausted from going through Interferon & Ribiviron Treatment for Hep C. It took a very long time to build up my white blood cell counts which were depleted from this horrendous treatment. The whole affair may have been exacerbated by the fact that I was, along with one other Cook I, responsible for an entire population (985 of the meanest, nastiest, craziest women that the Commonwealth of Pa. has to offer)of inmate meals. Well, we served and cooked two of the three meals served daily at the Chow Hall. I mean, just think about this; There are a few things you do not F**k with and an inmates food is one of them. Yea, the heat is on baby and this is a whole other story in and of itself.

As I said, it was my day off but I had to get up, regardless, first for "Count" and then it was off to my mandatory Med Line. That was not my fav place to go at all. You stood in a line upwards of 50 + inmates patiently waiting your turn to get up to the med line window so you could receive your share of psych drugs or whatever. I had just returned, I believe from that, went back to my room and my celly says "Go to the Day Room, OMG, the WTC has been hit or something." I then watched in horror as the second plane hit. By the next few minutes, Bells were ringing and the echo throughout could be heard, "LOCK DOWN, return to your cells at once for COUNT." We spent the entire day on Lockdown because of the plane going down in Somerset, Pa., close to the State Correctional Facility at Somerset in Pa.

It was a rather harrowing time, that seemed to last forever, right along and the same amount of time it took to eat the dry/nasty bologna sandwiches we were given in lockdown. I do say the imagination has time to allow you a real good work-up of all the possibilities there are with the thought that our facility might be next.

So, in explanation of the WTC attack, I went straight to YouTube and clicked on the video below. I sat with my grandson, watching and pausing with every question throughout about half of the video. He is very inquisitive, I do say and does listen to me and my stories, poor child. But after a while, I do believe he got the jist of things and lost interest, you know the attention span wanes quickly at that age.

I however, continued to watch. This is a really noteworthy piece about "The Falling Man." It is worth watching and truly does explore the ins and outs, especially concerning the picture above and how it captivated a Nation as well as the feelings behind the picture.

Raping Men as a Terrorist Recruiting Tool

"Fancy that! Al Qaeda does not discriminate on the basis of gender or religion. They not only kill both men and women, Muslim and infidel alike, they also recruit men and women by raping them!

Pink News, which bills itself as “Europe’s largest gay news,” outlet has just confirmed that al-Qaeda uses male rape as a tactic to recruit male human bombers in Algeria.

We have just learned about a Sunni al-Qaeda related plot in Iraq in which terrorists raped eighty Muslim girls and women, then turned them over to Samira Jassim who patiently and persistently persuaded the rape victims, (many of whom had been targeted because they were depressed or mentally ill), to cleanse their shame by blowing themselves and other Muslims up. Twenty eight women did so."

Brady Lee

2009-04-30T16:54:00.005-04:00

I'm posting this picture in solidarity with

Sarcastic Bastard

and I double dog dare ya to make fun of him. I'll sic him on ya and ya can bleed to death from your ankles, allow me to remind ya!

This lil guy, Brady Lee, my Granddog from my oldest son, Lee, just owns my heart.

Yea, he gets his bad habits from his Grandma...

(He's a terrible chain smoker. For real though, you have to watch out and really butt your cig cause he'll take off with it)

Doors of Communication

2009-04-23T14:34:00.012-04:00

Dear Reader's,

As of late, I've found myself visiting the blogs of people, I don't really know on the sidebars of some regulars I read. A lot of these blogs are about being the parent of a drug addict. So very sad.

And it occurred to me that God has blessed me with really being the only F***-Up in the family. What I mean by this is that while my daughter struggles with an addiction to Soma, my three sons really do not practice, note that word, "Practice" current and/or hard core drug use.

There's no pat on the back for this because they watched as I shot up Heroin, drank whiskey shots like a seasoned Sailor and basically lived a life of every day crime.

Yea, I used to kid, "A Crime a day, keeps the Doctor away," meaning I wouldn't be dope sick if I committed some crime, scam, scheme, whatever it took to get my bundle of Heroin. And you can bet your ass, before I started doing heroin and was taking massive quantities of pills/opiates, I stole or wrote/forged Prescriptions for years to facilitate my habits as well as my husbands. I'm certainly not proud of this and as I write it, I could just puke.

If I'd tell you some of the rotten awful things I did, you'd probably say, "OMG Babz, you did not?" But I did and the past person I was, is a different person. I even changed my name from Barbara to Babz cause I'm not "her/Barb" anymore.

It saddens me though when I read some of the pain this Drug War has caused. And that's exactly what it is, an all out War on and against, especially the juvenescence of today. This shit is taking your children hostage and promises to kill, harm or maim them for life. And of course, your life will never be the same.

First let me say that I don't claim to know it all, hell I'm just recently beginning to realize this and am hell bent for leather to learn all sorts of sordid details. Not really, actually I want to know and learn, sew and say all the best I can in the time allotted me, left on this earth. I have a whole butt load of Karma, the good one, I need to replenish and give back. And I know Mz. Karma Bitchslap™ on a first name basis. I met her in Prison...

As I stood on that bridge, (another story in itself), ready to jump into the icy waters below. Here I was out, in the middle of a blizzard, no one on the roads, on the hunt for dope. I scored one bag but couldn't do it because I had to walk home first and share that one bag with my SOB husband who divided it, giving him the bigger portion. It was barely enough to even get myself right much less the two of us.

Dope sick, barely able to stand, I threw my leg over the bridge railing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw headlights. This storm was so bad even the natives were nestled in, all except for me and this one man in his car. I remember being pissed, thinking, "WTF???," as I put my leg back down. He slowed down, just as he came upon me. His passenger side window was down, the street lamp illuminating his face.

Now, I don't know if you believe in Angels or not but I sure do...NOW! This old white haired man, scraggly and I even think he was missing some teeth, smiled so warmly, the smile actually embraced me. I can't explain it. I fell on my knees in the snow. There was a "Silent Scream" only heaven could hear. My tears almost froze to my face as I begged God for forgiveness. I also begged Him to help me, "Please God, I can't do this anymore, please help me?"

I didn't even say what it was that I needed help with but He knew. I'd tried to get help at the Hospital and for one, they told me I wasn't sick enough to be admitted to the Hospital. Secondly, they said that both my husband and myself could not be admitted at the same time to the same Rehab. The intake evaluator guy was a real dick and offered no solution.

Neither one of us would dare leave the other out to fend for ourselves, especially considering I was my husbands meal ticket, I did all the dirty work which, to this day he readily admits. But they had shot us down anyway, as I said stating that we weren't sick enough. I remember thinking how much I hated that guy just about the same time as I fell off the curb, cracking my head open on the bumper of a taxi cab (which I couldn't even afford to take at the time and had to walk) because I was so weak I could hardly stand.

The Gift???

Well, it wasn't all shiny or wrapped up in a big Pink or Red Bow. And it sure as hell wasn't pretty. But God gave me a wonderful gift...He threw me, lock, stock and barrel, right into jail and then onto to my 2 1/2 to 5 year State Prison venture. It took some time for me to realize "The Gift." It took a hot minute before I wasn't so pissed off that I could spit nails. It took even longer for me to come to a realization that God had saved my life by throwing my sorry butt into Prison.

Bitter or Blessed???

Yes, good ol' Mz. Karma Bitchslap™ gave me time to think and think and think. I'd been sentenced up to 5 years of my life for something I didn't do, I just couldn't prove it from where I was sitting. That's a whole other story in itself but suffice it to say, I WAS GUILTY just not for the exact crime listed on the Indictment!

I'd done so many awful, God forsaken things, I deserved to be exactly where I was, I actually deserved Life. But how does one garner wisdom amongst the best criminals, insanest, meanest, nastiest people this world has to offer? You study them and yourself, which is exactly what I did. I turned the whole experience around, flipped the script and did everything I could to learn from it.

I took special notes concerning the fact that most of the inmates were there because of drugs, drinking, drug sales. I studied them, their behavior and I listened intently to what they had to say. As well, I was given the opportunity to go into a six month In-House Rehab Program called New Beginnings, while I was incarcerated. You are pretty much sequestered during this extremely strict program. I worked that bitch like my life depended on it, (which it actually did)all the while going through intense Interferon Treatment for Hep C.

So by going to prison, I broke the chain of heroin abuse, I broke the chain of domestic abuse that I'd endured for more than a decade and I think I broke the chain of events that led up to and facilitated a lot of my killing my self slowly behaviors. I even think I may have learned to like myself again. And it was all a Blessing, big time.

Again, it took a while to understand the mechanics of it all but I realize that most people that go in to prison come out one of two ways; Bitter or Blessed. Unfortunately, the majority come out real angry for having their lives disrupted and they're surely not remorseful. In fact most are mad because they were caught.

For me, it was a time to stop and reflect, to learn and gain knowledge about myself as well as others; what makes them tick, what causes them to behave as they do and why do they continue in the same vein of unhappy addictions and addictive behaviors. These are all seen, in my eyes, as gifts.

I was also given a gift in the capacity to remember everything about how I felt and why I did things, especially concerning my teen years. I recall, collectively, what spurred me on to drugs-n-drinking. I now have the resounding collection of "Do Not's" squarely fixed in my mind. If I was told;

Do Not Do Drugs
Do Not Drink
Do Not Have Sex
Do Not Share A Needle
Do Not Drink-n-Drive
Do Not Play With Guns
Do Not Go W/O Your Seat Belt...

I did it...and got addicted, got pregnant, got Hep C and on and frigin' on.

Yes, it's a gift that I can remember all this and have not burned out all my brain cells. I was in a really bad car accident(I was hit by two cars, drag racing, one head-on) when I was just 18. I had massive head trauma from going through the windshield. I was hurt badly enough they were going to put me in a Nursing Home. Besides the injuries that were visible, I had a terrible problem with short term memory loss.

My long term memory was not affected and I can even remember playing in my crib, climbing out and finding a bottle under my crib that was sour. I can also remember going for long walks with my Mom, in the stroller. To tide me over, my Mom would put chocolaty "*Metracal" in my bottle. It was a popular a diet drink back in the early sixties. The thing is, my Mom, who proudly exclaimed she followed the orders of "Dr. Spock" had me off the bottle by 18 months old. This means that I have memories of and before I was 18 months old.

The point is that, painful as it might be, I remember how I felt about things, especially as a teen. I mean, I can remember how hurt I was by the comments of boys like when they called me "Boobie Barbara" in 6th grade. As well I distinctly remember how I felt that I could not go to my Mom and Dad to talk about my personal problems and complexes, notable to a teen with such low self-esteem as I had. I felt fat and ugly, fueled by comments innocently spewed(I hope?) by my own Mother.

I was certainly not able to talk about sex and such. They were either too busy chasing the American Dream or had too many hang-ups themselves about personal issues. My own Mom was mean, hateful and beat the livin' shit out of me on a daily basis. It's no wonder I sought love in all the wrong places. They were "Unapproachable."

The best advice I could give to any parent is to be aware of the doors of communication. Are they closed? That's when you seem unapproachable or maybe you're too busy with work and your children don't feel they can come and talk to you about anything and everything. This is the exact spot, the very pinpoint to the beginning of the end.

See, when your kid can't come to you and ask you anything or talk to you about what's going on in their lives, the good, the bad and the ugly or you down play their emotions and you can bet your ass they have them, that's when the problems begin. Now they're going to go to their friends for advice and that sense of family. That's when your daughter is going to seek counsel, love, whatever from some older guy.

You have to realize that their emotions run the gambit from desires to be older to emotional immaturity as in holding onto childhood behaviors. One day they'll seem and believe that they're all grown up while the next they'll do something very childish and immature. But the thing you have to remember is that this is their emotions and they are really real.

You can not leave it up to the school system to raise your child. As well, you can not leave it up to the school system to teach your child about sex and drugs either. While D.A.R.E. is a good program, parents, you've still got to sit down with your kids and *talk to them about drugs, drinking, sex, peer pressure, cyber bullying, internet predators and unfortunately you've got to let them in on the very worst secret of all; That it is not all lollipops and cotton candy out there. There are people in this world that can and will harm them.

Do You Know Them???

Note the word "Talk." Now, when you speak to your child, of course, you want to command respect. If you want a rapport with your children though you've got to be mindful of these doors of communication and are they open, always open, 24/7? And do you speak down to them? Speak over them? Speak above them?

The big question of the day is this; Do you really, really know your child? Does your child have a secret side for fear of chastisement, punishment or retribution? Do they have that secret side because you might not understand?

I don't claim to be the sharpest peanut in the turd but I will say, if nothing else, I am observant. I see parents all the time, especially Mothers who treat their teens as equals, as a friend and are almost fearful of disciplining their child, expressly their adolescent children. These are quite often the Moms who want to be the "Cool Mom" on the block. They tend to look the other way rather than deal with the ginormous monstrosity that is their child.

I know all this because I was that Mom who wanted to be the "Cool Mom." And because of my own addictive behaviors and thinking, I allowed my own kids to get high, in the bathroom, in my own home. I also taught my children all the finer things in life where it concerns being a good criminal.When they busted me, it was front page news and the headline read, something like, "Busted; Ma Barker & Her Boys." I was shackled to my youngest son, for God's sake. Does it get any badder than that?

"Let Go & Let God"

For those parents that have kids already down that road, going down Addiction Alley, I pray that you will find calm assurance and realize the power of prayer. I'll pray that you see that you'll have to allow them to fall before they can ever climb up. This is one of the absolute hardest things a Mom can go through because we can't stand for our children to hurt. But the thing is, they've got to feel the burn, they've got to know that no one, short of God is going to save them. They've got to feel the repercussions of their actions or they'll continue to carry on, every day, in the same way. You've got to stay in prayer and allow them to hit their own personal bottom, now, before it's too late.

Open 24/7

If you are a parent of a pre-teen or teenager, I hope you will see the relevance of and awareness of those doors of communication, that I mentioned before. And I want you to take a long hard look at what is really important in this life; Is it that American Dream you keep chasing? You know the one where you think that both of you need to work over time to keep that second SUV in the garage, have a t.v. in every room, give your kid the best of the best, a cell phone, computer and on and on. But check this out: You work over time to get all this crap that you must ask yourself, "Do I really need all this to define happiness?"

Yes, you have to work over time and then you feel guilty for it so you think you'll compensate your kid by buying them all the things you didn't have growing up. But for real, what they need is YOU, not all this BS you work so hard to get.

The pitch line here is this; Parents, your children need you. Are you really there for them? Do you really know your child?

Hypethetically Speaking;

Did you know that a 23 year old guy is talking to your daughter, online and treats her all grown up and tells her how he desires her so badly?
(He wants to meet her and is trying to talk her into it. She's scared but wants to be desired by somebody, anybody. She believes she's ugly so she's just ecstatic because somebody has taken an interest in her.)

Did you know that your son has been driving around with his pals, getting drunk in order to fit in with the rest of the football team?
(I mean he just wants to be accepted but he's playing with death)

Did you know that the reason your daughter is so thin is because she's Anorexic?
(Yea, she was a bit chubby and the kids made fun of her, especially the boys)

Did you know that your child's failing grades are because she's caught up with a group of girls, "The Stoners?"
(She was doing fairly well but because of her low self-esteem she wanted to be accepted into the cliche of girls, you know the bad ones who'll steer her wrong. Those girls are not the prettiest or brightest so she feels safe amongst them because they really can't put her down. She'll start skipping school so she can hang out at that friends house who's Mom, a single mother, is always at work and they can party at her house and not get caught)

There are so many, "Do You Know's" you must ask yourself, about your child. And I could go on forever but suffice it to say, it's preventive medicine if you try to get to really know your child, reach out to them and let them know that they have permission to come to you about anything, especially before they do it.

Take A Look!

Your kids are less apt to seek out that sense of family, if they are still getting it at home. Take A Look! If you want them to learn about this life's ups and downs and why they should or shouldn't do something, you'd better assume the role of parent and teach them yourself. Take A Look!

If you want them to understand that drugs-n-drinking just might take them down, you'd better teach them yourself. But it's not good enough to simply say, "Now, don't you do this or that." No, you've got to explain why and a 5 minute talk on the subject is not going to do. You've got to explain how they can get out of the situation if they are offered drugs or any illicit behavior.

Your best bet is to arm yourself with an understanding of addiction and addictive behaviors. I suggest you study all you can on the subject so you may be armed with an educated opinion on the subject.

Teaching them to "Just Say No to Drugs" is not enough. What I mean by this is while the school system teaches them some on the subject, they don't know your child, what makes them who they are and what might cause them to turn to drugs/drinking. That is a question you must ask yourself before it happens. That is pertinent to you and your child and something you must face together.

Don't make the stupid mistake of assuming that your child will never mess around with drugs and/or drinking. It's safer to say that they will be faced with it and just telling them to, again, "Just Say No to Drugs" is not enough. You've got to delve into the subject, the meat of the whole shabang. And that entails letting them know, showing them what happens when you play with fire; you will get burned.

Your best stance, to take might be to let them know that getting high is an escape they may never be able to escape from. Tell them that if they do have an addictive personality and they do try drugs, it will ruin their lives. Notice that I didn't say "might ruin their lives." Drugs will most certainly place your kid on the road of self destruction. They've got to know why it's so dangerous to try; They may think they love it, need it and will then do anything to get it. That's the truth of the matter.

Speak to them now, before it's too late!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

*1950s through the '70s:

Metracal was the first weight-loss shake product, adapted from baby formula by Mead Johnson
Nutritionals. It was wildly successful. The company also marketed Metracal cookies. Metracal is now off
the market.
Source; Whatever Happened To...
History of Diets

Good Cop/Bad Cop

2009-04-22T22:08:00.001-04:00

This is surely a new spin on an old plan of attack. Hell, I'm telling 'em everything!

Good Cop Bad Cop
You have never seen good cop bad cop played like this before! Who can blame the guy for talking??? :)

My Hero; The Fruitcake Lady

2009-04-19T12:14:00.016-04:00

In case you're not aware of it...

"Xmichra"

and I write/answer questions for our advice site,

"Ask Aunt B"

It's been a bit slow as of late, which does not hurt my feelings as it can be quite taxing but we were getting 7-10 letters a week from people asking for advice and/or opinions.

Anywho, if you go to our site, you'd see why this woman,

Marie Rudsill aka "The Fruitcake Lady"

is my Hero. When I grow up, I can envision myself to be just like her. (I might be closer to it than I care to admit)

Here's a video's of The Fruitcake Lady in action!

R.I.P. Marie Rudisill (13 March 1911 - 3 November 2006)

*"In 2002, the "Ask the Fruitcake Lady" segments became a regular part of The Tonight Show. In these segments, viewers posed prerecorded questions to Rudisill (including questions of a graphic sexual nature), and her frank and often unpredictable responses were shown. In her responses she often lost patience with what she perceived as stupidity on the part of some questioners, and lapsed into profanity."

*Source Wikipedia

Stumble Upon; The Works of Jacek Yerka

2009-04-19T11:36:00.006-04:00

I would never consider myself a purveyor or collector of art, hell I'd say I don't normally appreciate the arts, other than music. But I Stumbled Upon a whole page of these on Damn Funny Pictures and found myself studying the details of each and every piece. Too cool. You must check them out. It also took me a minute but I found the artist page of the creator of these dreamy depictions, Jacek Yerka.

If I had the money, I would most certainly collect these. When I look at them, they have a calming effect upon me. That's what I need!

Cream That Egg

2009-04-17T15:08:00.000-04:00

Why???Why???Why??? I don't know but I watched it...

R.I.P. Wayne Lee Moore, Sr.

2009-04-15T23:41:00.010-04:00

In Memory

Wedding Day June 29, 1975

How could I forget? Never have, never will. "Ya don't know whatcha got till it's gone..."

R.I.P.
Wayne Lee Moore, Sr.

February 6, 1953-April 15,1989

Nix The Mix or What A Mess

2009-04-02T13:41:00.003-04:00

(Secret Post...)

...from "As My World Breeds"...

So...this is Grandbaby #7 with the possibility of #8. I say this because, well if you eat a can of beans can you decipher which bean made you fart? No, really, my son Waylon messed with a girl who says it's his all the while we get reports that she's still sleeping with her husband who she claims to have left and in the process of divorcing. She just gave birth to a baby girl. If she's my granddaughter, I'll love her, of course. And I'll welcome her to our mess, I mean our family!

I found myself looking for an old post via Way Back Machine. Good God have I mellowed, hopefully for the better.

TWISTED TUESDAY/ WCRZ RADIO

THE BALLAD OF BIG ASS LIL' AND YUKON PETE!!

Ask Grandma to leave the room. Make the kids go outside and play. Make sure the boss has left for lunch. Babsbitchin' is WCRZ Radio!!

The Ballad of Big Ass Lil & Yukon Pete

April Fool's...

2009-04-01T17:19:00.003-04:00

Oh Crap, you're gonna laugh when you see this!
Can You Say "Whoops?"

Cop Gets Frisky

Running with Hedge Clippers

2009-04-01T12:01:00.014-04:00

Editor's Note; This is from my old blog Bitchin & Stuff.

I've left this post as is, foul language and all, just a little warning. To sum it up, my life that is, I'd say... I'm running with just sharpened hedge clippers...in circles... Round-n-Round. Wow, have I come a long way in some respects and in others, I really suck. I am in semi-retirement thus the only people I tend to "Manage" these days are my grandkids. Those defiant lil buggers.

My last position/job before this semi-retirement gig was GM for a major million dollar Corporation in Pittsburgh. I made the owner some big bucks, he even told me so himself, the only credit he really ever gave me. But I allowed my pride to get in the way of wisdom. The owner knew I was on Parole and he used it against me. He also, I'd say, treated me like shit because I was a woman. Hell, he didn't respect his own wife, how could I ever presume him to respect me.

I learned an awful lot from that position. I learned the hard way that life is not always fair and quite often, people skate, especially those with money (often undeserved money) where they should've been punished. I learned that lesson before I ever even applied for that position when I stopped skating, myself and went to Prison.

I must admit, I learned a lot from my own employees, especially my own crew. They worked diligently with me, side by side, I miss it, miss them. These were some of the brightest students from around the world. The vast majority were enrolled at either the University of Pittsburgh, Carnegie Mellon University or Chatam University and worked mostly part-time for me.

They all went on to bigger and better things such as Reggie's Internships through American University. Some went on to study abroad, one in Puru, one in Honduras. My Darling, Kitten/Nicole went on to teach ESL abroad, and Andy took off to work/walk the Appalachian Trail. And the list goes on...

I know all this because they either stayed in touch or I'd been listed as a referral/past employer/boss on their Resume's. I only lost touch with them when I fell off the face of the earth(due to illness, lol, mostly mental) in September of last year and I moved.

I'd like to think that I helped round them into the positive people they are and became. I'd also like to think that I had an impact on their lives. For some, it was their first real job. I fondly believe that I played a key part in molding and shaping their excellent work ethic, exhibited daily.

You bet, I could be a taskmaster and I expected nothing less than the very best. But I never asked them to do anything that I was not willing to do or had done. This made all the difference and I was damn proud of them all, still am.

I truly hated my job while I was working but not a day goes by that now, I don't miss it. Imagine that??? Bitch, Bitch, Bitch is what I did until I talked myself out of the job. I quit that position the very day that my Parole was up. Why? Because I could where as you just can't quit your job because you get a hair up your ass while on Parole.

You know the old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side?" Well, let me tell you why; "It's only greener because there's a Septic Tank!" Yes, you may quote me on that.

Anyway, I thought this was funny so I re-posted it. I must admit though, I have certainly become a walking contradiction. In reference to the #13 on the list below, I personally agreed to take my nose ring out in order to please my boss upon my hire for the above mentioned job. I shoulda known better, huh???

From Wednesday, March 08, 2006

JUST MY OPINION!!

I was born laughing, thus I want everybody else to.

This is part an article that was on MSN today about Hiring and Industry. I, of course, have to add my 2 cents.

While what you wear to work depends on your industry, company, geographic region and the activities you have planned for the day, most image consultants and corporate executives agree that there are basic standards everyone should follow. Here are 15 things that are never a good idea:

1. Underwear as outerwear. Camisoles or visible bra straps and lingerie scream "eek!" not "chic!" ~I agree. Any bitch that walks in and looks better than me in lingerie ain't gettin' hired.

2. Workout gear. Save your muscle shirts and spandex for the gym.
~I disagree. If he's cute and muscular and I can see his package through his spandex, well, it's a tell tale sign he's equiped for the job.

3. Soiled, stained or rumpled clothing. Neatness counts. Better to wear less expensive clothing that is immaculately cleaned and pressed than to sport designer grunge.
~ I agree. I sure as hell don't want to hire you if you didn't have the courtesy to change your clothes after that last party. You woke up and came to the interview with me and now your openly mocking the fact that I wasn't at your fucking party. Go to hell, next time you'll think before you forget to invite me, won't you!

4. Shorts. Whether of the Bermuda or Daisy Duke variety, wearing shorts to work is just plain wrong.
~I agree. Especially if you're one of those sleazy bitches with your ass cheeks hanging out or your thongs visible at the top of your low cut shorts. I get really homicidal and want to take your thong and wrap it around your show off throat. When your ass sags and your tits droop like mine you'll understand. Bermuda shorts, shit, unless you've got really cute hairy legs and the rest of the body to go with it. You're best bet, at least for me to hire you, is to wear just a jock strap underneath a nice London Fog coat and accidentally allow it to open slightly.

5. Tattoos. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie have made tattoos seem almost mainstream, but many people are still put off by them. Best to keep yours under wraps or disguised with a heavy spray-on makeup made expressly to conceal tattoos.
~I disagree. If you have tattoo's why would you wanna work at a place that you had to spray-on makeup? Tattoo's tell a story, tell who you are, where you've been, where you wanna be. I'll hire you if you show me your tattoo and give me a good story why you got it. Angelina Jolie gave tattoo's a bad rap and I'd like to fatten her lip a little more. Who gives a shit about her?

6. Extreme hair color. Natural looking highlights are fine, but never dye your hair blue, magenta or other colors not found in nature.
~Some of the most creative people have extreme color in their hair. It's a statement and it says,
"I'm not a perfect person but I'm sure as hell colorful and creative enough to not be a plain asshole corporate ass suck as yourself." Once again...don't judge the book by the cover cause there's probably a real good, inventive, imaginitive and creative story here.

7. Too much cologne. A strong scent is a turnoff to most people. Best to forgo fragrance and opt for the clean smell of soap.
~ I agree. There's absolutely no reason to bathe in your cologne. Are you trying to hide some funk? And the women who wear perfume, "their signature," that's all fine and dandy you cheap whore but I don't want to taste your signature or smell it a half hour after you've left the room. Then there's always the ones who do buy a bottle of nice perfume and cologne. Then they wear the shit everyday, fogging up my world and breathing space. Keep it for the evening and at a minimum. And remember the old adage i taught my boys a long time ago: If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish eat all you wish, it's a nice dish.

8. Long, fake or wild-colored nails. Keep your nails short and neat. Avoid nail decals, black polish or "Elvira" length nails.
~I agree. First of all, I don't know how sanitary you are but I know in the food business or life in general, really long fingernails mean hiding dirt, germs and yuk. But more importantly, how dare they bad mouth, "Elvira." She was my only idol growing up and I wanted to spin my pasty tassels with the expertise she was able to demonstrate. Let's see their corporate wanna be wall street ass do that! And if you wear black nail polish, you don't wanna work at their stinkin' place anyway!

9. Grungy beards. In general, most companies prefer clean-shaven men to, say, ZZ Top. If you just can't part with your facial hair, at least keep it neatly trimmed. (And for gosh-sakes check in the mirror after eating that powder-sugared doughnut!)
~I agree. I like a rugged man with a beard and many gay men I know love that," dick target," I've heard it called. If you're a ZZ Top kinda guy, you're not applying for a job at some posh, upper crust office anyway. No, you're probably an ex-husband of mine and you're too busy riding your motorcycle, selling drugs, stock piling guns and stealing bikes and you don't need a job.

10. Micro-miniskirts. Make sure there is no more than three or four inches between knee and hem. You want to be able to sit without giving a peep show.
~I disagree. Well, I happen to like a peep show. I'm an ol' spanner. But I don't want to see the junk in your trunk at work. Ask for my phone number and I'll call you after work. See, I can be reasonable.

11. Overly revealing attire. Too little is too much. Breasts, back and arms should be covered. Avoid overly snug fits by making sure there is at least one inch of room between body and fabric.
~I agree. If you've got it flaunt it, won't cut it, if you want me to hire you.But I don't think you have to dress like an amish woman to get a job either. Now, if you're a real plus size gal, well, I really don't want to be distracted by counting your rolls either. Wear something that enhances your figure like a moomoo, not really. But wear something not form fitting or hugging.

12. Athletic socks with street shoes. Men, the devil's in the details. People notice these things!
~I agree. You should be reemed for this and I have a few friends who'd volunteer for the mission. W/O KY.

13. Body piercings. Studies show that most people view body jewelry as unprofessional and that people with multiple piercings are less likely to be hired or promoted.
~I disagree. If you judge a person by their piercings, you're a pious, frustrated, judgemental, never lived asshole who is the type who of person that is probably someone I'd never again work for. My boss in Pittsburgh made me take out my nose ring," Because I was the Manager of Wholesale/Retail and an example of our store. You represent us." And he's a fine example of a loser anyway.He cheats, steals, adds to their billing extra and sends them stale stuff. He is sending Hilton Hotel the Bagels left over from the end of the day. Hilton, can you believe that stupidity? He has never lived, never loved, never leapt into the unknown.(I guess "leapt" isn't a word?)

14. Bare midriff. Make sure there is at least one-inch of room between body and fabric and that your shirt it is long enough to conceal your midriff. Let your clothes show off your good taste -- not your six-pack abs.
~If it's a chick, I'm jealous so I won't hire you. If it's a guy, you must show me that part just below your belly button that has that cut on each side of your hips. Then, I'll hire you and...

15. Low-rise pants. "Plumber's crack" is not acceptable anywhere. Period.
~I agree. But what is this bitch doing to see this shit? asking them to get on all fours and bark like a fucking dog?

Finally, as a rule of thumb: If you have any doubt whether something you have on is appropriate -- go back and change.
~I agree that this is the dumbest whore who ever put a on a strap-on and pretended to be a hiring genius. She must have ADD and can't concentrate on the merit or resume of the individual. I'd be willing to bet money, she's a fat old hog, who isn't married and owns 20 cats, never gave a blow job and if she did, she didn't swallow.
In conclusion; if you're trying to get a snappy job in corporate America, take her advice. But if you're not...paint your nails black, get a Prince Albert, spike your hair and color it Magenta. Then, I want you to live, love, learn and laugh!!!

test

2009-04-01T11:30:00.001-04:00

Run Weiner Run

2009-03-30T21:46:00.001-04:00

This is by far the funniest video I've seen in a long time.

Talking Clock

2009-03-28T12:57:00.005-04:00

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.

'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.

'Yup,' replied the drunk.

'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. .

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "you asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!'

(Thanks to my granddaughter, Jessie for this laugh. I don't care who ya are, now that's funny!)

2009-03-27T15:14:00.004-04:00

I've been soooooooooo busy...going in circles. If I do go online, I'm either working on Ask Aunt B or on my new obsession; SpotTheDifference.com. Yes, I said obsession cause that's what I tend to do and do and do until I could spew. I'm that way with music too and tend to listen to the same songs over and over. Right now, it's Chicago's Greatest Hits and such.

If you stop by, I surely appreciate it. Say hello and let me know how you are.

Points to Ponder

They say, "Paranoia will destroy ya." No, I'm not referring to smoking pot which I've not done for many, too many years. And yes, I quit because I would get way too paranoid. But I suppose the Stoners have reason to worry, huh? I mean every day, even in my rinky dink town, there's at least 7-15 busts, mostly traffic stops where they get busted with a personal amount of Mary Jane. I'd say that's reason enough to be paranoided out, huh? That and DUI's make up the better portion of the JPD Police Reports. Make sure you check out the scary section; "Most Wanted." It does prove one thing; The Boys in Blue here are doing their joby jobs. I always give credit where credit is due and my hats go off to these guys catching the drunk drivers. Yep, it's all fun and games till one of 'em kill/hurt/maim's one of your family or friends driving drunk, huh?

Speaking of credit, my point about the paranoia is not about that. It was an "Ah Ha" moment a few years back concerning Credit Reports. Think about this; They offer you Free Credit Reports, every day, all day long. But Why is it free after all, nothing's for free, there is no free lunch and every diddley damn Company/Corp or thing has an ulterior motive when something says it's "FREE."

The reverse psychology of it, when you read the following is that it's your inalienable right, dammit, to get this report;

The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) requires each of the nationwide consumer reporting companies – Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion – to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months.

A credit report includes information on where you live, how you pay your bills, and whether you’ve been sued, arrested, or filed for bankruptcy. Nationwide consumer reporting companies sell the information in your report to creditors, insurers, employers, and other businesses that use it to evaluate your applications for credit, insurance, employment, or renting a home.

And the hilarious part is...now they know where to find you if you do have any old credit issues, you know like the time you ordered from BMG Music or Columbia House, got the buttload of CD's free and didn't pay the bill.

That's right you dirty rotten "FREE" selling scoundrels, I'm on to ya and ya won't get me!

More Christmas...

2009-01-27T14:03:00.003-05:00

When my son Waylon came to visit for Christmas, he went to visit his niece, Jessie(my granddaughter). Now Jessie has loved Waylon since day one. She'd follow him around in her little walker and I can still remember her at the bottom of the stairs, yelling some sort of jibberish, at the top of her lungs, yelling at Waylon who'd gone up the stairs. She couldn't talk yet. Jessie would sit with Waylon, right beside him when he watched tv after school and play with his hair. She just loved him and through the years, they were so close.

Now, Jessie is married to Waylon's best friend, Chris, his, "rode dog," as he calls him. Jessie and Chris had Toryanna,(my great-granddauther) the beautiful little girl pictured here with Waylon, in her Christmas dress. Toryanna is so much like her Mom, she's inquisitive, super bright but she has the calm spirit of her Dad...that is is till you piss her off, hahaha!

Video inédite du 11 septembre/StumbleUpon

2009-01-19T13:34:00.006-05:00

If you don't have the StumbleUpon button,(this link is as a Firefox Add-On) you just don't know what you're missing. When you are bored outa your brain you can just click the button, which is, upon downloading given to you in the form of a toolbar, no fuss, no muss. StumbleUpon Homepage

From 9/11- Where were you when this all happened? I was on *Sabbatical and because of the proximity of the hit in Somerset, Pa. all Pa. Prisons were locked down.

Oddly enough, my lil sister had just gone back to work on 9/10 from Maternity leave. She was two city blocks away from Ground Zero. She refused to go back to work at that job and swore to never place herself in a position as she had where she was stuck in the city, unable to get to her baby.

This is a home video by a couple, must've been right there downtown Manhattan, extremely close to WTC and Ground Zero

Video inédite du 11 septembre
Uploaded by tristao

*Sabbatical; My code word for the 3 1/2 years I did in a Pa. Prison.

Merry Christmas Mama Bear

2009-01-02T11:01:00.011-05:00

1/13/09-It's 10am and I have like three places I need to go today. But it's so nasty out. It's like 9 degrees, snowing and just real shitty. For real though, because I am the Queen O'Procrastination and on a pity party, I found myself looking at the holiday pics again of me and my boys. I can not express how much I treasure these photos.

Oddly enough, I was kinda proud of this pic. Yep, I am one strange Mom. Why you ask? Because I just love my sons, all of them, their tattoo's and piercings. They all have them, just like their Ma. Take note of Waylon's(on the right)sleeve, the genius work of Skinja of Doom, "Sharpie." Sharpie also did Waylon's branding, not seen in the pic. I must say I do not get into the branding thing but far be it from me to discourage it. "Jeez Louise that's gotta hurt," I was heard to say. Waylon replied that it didn't really hurt, not like he thought it would. But then again, I don't think Waylon has the ability to understand real pain, not like the average Bear anyway. "Nope, that boy ain't right."

Right now, that branding in the shape of what looks like a fireman's shield, Celtic in origin, will have more branding done and once it heals it'll be tattooed upon, a raised tat. You can see the rest of Waylon's tats on Sharpie's MySpace page. They are the photos featured on the right.

These pictures are an eye opener for me. My boys, all big and hairy, tower over me and they are no longer afraid of me, respectful but unafraid of the wicked Mommy. I am getting so old, I fart dust and crap cobwebs. Of course, now that they are unafraid, they love to tell the stories, half of which I do not remember of how mean I was to them. Thank God for Alzheimer's, huh?
My youngest, Waylon(on the right) came to visit me for Christmas, a wonderful gift. I'd not laid eyes on him in three years. As well, it was the first time all of the brothers had been together in something like 8 years. Even more exciting is that this/these are the only pictures in existence of all of us together. I cherish these even with the dirty wood paneling as a back drop. You betcha, I was happier than a pig in poo, to have all my boys, together, in one spot for Christmas dinner.

Mama Bear & My Brood
Take notice of the "ORBS" in the picture

Three Bad Bears

Mama Bear & Her Three Bad Baby Bears
Lee said, "Now, I feel dirty and not in a good way."
(The funny part is that neither brother knew, when the pic was being taken that the other was pinching Lee's Nipples)

Shoplifting Dog?

2008-12-27T11:11:00.007-05:00

The video shows a dog shoplifting a bone from a Pet Store in Utah.

Make A Flake and Sing With The King

2008-12-21T20:15:00.001-05:00

Good, Clean Fun...
Make a Snowflake

This is really cool. I had it on my first blog 2 years ago. You can make a snowflake and attach a message. You can then see your snowflake and other people's snowflakes. I even had my Mom doing it last year. She thought it was so cute till somebody wrote, "Hey, wanna see me naked?" She wasn't into to snowflakes anymore, after that.
Check it out, it's pretty nifty!

Hey, ya wanna sing with the King? This site will allow you to Karaoke with Elvis and record it.

G-Ma's Girls

2008-12-21T19:52:00.002-05:00

These are 4 out of the 6 girls, my own beautiful granddaughter's;

Jessie, Toryanna, Samantha and Aries

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Snorkling in Jamestown, NY

2008-12-09T14:36:00.002-05:00

This is how we do it

Sex or Cake, Please???

2008-12-01T17:31:00.002-05:00

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON 'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS..............................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER , HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED? SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE .

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

Damn That Chili

2008-11-19T12:24:00.004-05:00

I know, I know, those damn forwards ya get in your email. Butt, Butt, Butt, if you need to laugh just read this, ok? Oddly enough, I made Chili Mac for dinner last night. Somehow...I can relate!

Chili

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I
had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're
definitely going to mess yourself" chili.

Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes
with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your
butt cheeks WILL fall off.
Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups
of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No
"Watson's Movement 2". Despite habanera peppers swimming their way
through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the
usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and
lightning.

Knowing th at a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I
bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I
often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart
and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't
until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that
the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm
talking about. I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always
seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.
The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a
revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small
intestines, f orcing their way into the large intestines, and before I
could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring
sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped
in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded.
I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape
me.

Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my
body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an
elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her
reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as
she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different
directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you
at least will be able to relate.
I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she
walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor
so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and
running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as
though trying to ward off angry bees.
This, of course , made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.

Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things "clamped
down", if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive
issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing
that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that
someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off
through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole
way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took
place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john,
began the inevitable "Oh my God", floating above the toilet seat because my
butt is burning SO BAD, purging.

One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the
true meaning of "Shock and Awe". He made a gagging sound, and
disgustedly said, " Oh my God!", then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart
intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee
approached me and said, "Sir, you might want to step outside for a few
minutes.
It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager
is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought
to take care of the problem."

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.
The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover
his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, "IT'S
YOU!", then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was
unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly
not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing
to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I
went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say- anymore about that because
we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have
to repaint the store

Something To Ponder

2008-10-27T12:25:00.001-04:00

Woman Stripped By Men in Jail Setting

2008-10-22T15:43:00.003-04:00

First, let me assert that I am on the side of Law Enforcement, believe in it and am thankful for it. For the most part, LEO's are good upstanding citizens who risk their lives everyday to make my world safer. Then there's these bad apples. The ones that think they are above the Law. The Brotherhood of Law Enforcement should cloud up and rain down on these Officer's and hold them accountable. Why? Because it sure shines a really really bad light on them. The public trust is bruised because of things such as this video. That's it, that's all...

I watched this video and became so mad I coulda spit nails. It's enough to piss off a Preacher. This woman is treated with less dignity you'd treat even a mass murderer. She called for help...

Read the Entire Story Here

Woman Stripped By Men in Jail Setting

You know what? I don't care if this woman is guilty of resisting arrest or not, you can not, I repeat can not have men ripping the clothes off a woman like this. I'll bet that Hope stands for Sue as in Sue those mofo's silly.

Tagged

2008-10-20T13:36:00.003-04:00

Ok I got "tagged" and here's the dilly:

Here are the rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

I got tagged by sKILLz

I'm going to tag: No one

1. I've probably mentioned that I am so frugal that if I use a napkin or paper towel, like to just wipe my mouth, I won't throw it away. I have a special bag I put them in. Then, I use them to pick up messes/spills on the floor and so on that my many grandkids like to leave me, etc.

2. I have to smoke a cigarette right before I eat as well as right after I eat. When I quit years ago, just eating made it hard, lol. To quit smoking is my next great vice to nix...that and Cheetos.

3. Then, I have the bad habit of picking my teeth with toothpicks(not in public) which I tend to leave around in the most unfortunate places. Husbands and sons have stepped on them or had them go under their toe nail. OUCH!!

4. I have lost all of my patience in my old age. I don't have time for the dumb shit or drama. I find myself extremely short with those around me. They are probably starting to call me a "Crotchety Old Lady."

5. In the same vein, I find that it drives me frigin insane when I say something and the person just pauses, you know that long pause they do when dumbfounded. I seem to get it a lot lately. I am beginning to wonder if it's me or them? Is it something I've said that perplexed you so so much?

6. OCD ish Behavior- I wash my hands constantly and then have to put hand lotion on. In order for me to eat (at home anyway) I have to have my dinner tray with a napkin on it. I may only use it once but feel incomplete if I sit down and don't have my napkin. Of course, I'll then put the napkin in the flippin bag as it's not dirty enough to throw away. Maybe in another life I went through the depression? Who'da thunk it? Oh and I hate taggin people (I don't mind being tagged I just hate tagging, oh the peer pressure of it all) so...

The Chilling Effect

2008-10-19T12:21:00.000-04:00

Absolutely gripping and beyond chilling...this is by far the best video I've seen in a long time. I am living this right now. It must be seen, it must be heard. If enough people can begin to understand and take a stand, many, countless people may not have to suffer and die needlessly...

Professional Pumpkins Carving

2008-10-10T08:21:00.008-04:00

Ready to carve a pumpkin? Check these ideas out first.

(While we're on the subject of Pumpkins, check out this pumpkin cheesecake recipe)

Misc Mayhem

2008-10-10T08:16:00.002-04:00

These DIY video's, I guess could be rather handy, huh? Check it out

Hold 'er Down, She's Buckin'

I just flew United and could totally relate to these...

Funny in Flight Announcements

A Little Booger Sugar, Please???

2008-10-08T12:07:00.006-04:00

These quotes are funny as hell. In our war on drugs, which they shall not win, I must say that if they came to realize that there's a lot of money to be made by the Government with regulation, it would literally change the world as we know it. I don't smoke pot and haven't for years but can you just imagine for a single moment what life would be like if it were legal?

It burns my ass how people look down their noses at people who do drugs, namely pot. A chemical is a chemical and quite frankly, I do believe that alcohol is far worse than marijuana. The funny thing is the people, in our history as a Nation, fought Prohibition and won, back in the day when the people ran the country and not a bunch of oil slicked politicians. Otherwise, liquor would be illegal as well.

Of course, you could never convince a group sitting around an AA meeting that they have just as much of a problem as anyone else that is addicted and abuses drugs.

I've actually been to AA meetings where I have been informed that it is discouraged to speak about drugs at the meeting. Why? Because as I said, people who are Alcoholics do not see themselves in the same class as, i.e. myself, a dirty heroin addict struggling to stay clean from my first love. While I do realize there's a huge difference between heroin, liquor and marijuana, c'mon people, let's call a spade, a spade, huh?

Something to think about...

For sure, do you see someone wreck the car, killing whole families because they were stoned, hmmm?

-Annual drug deaths:
tobacco: 395,000,
alcohol: 125,000,
'legal' drugs: 38,000,
illegal drug overdoses: 5,200,
marijuana: 0.
Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war?"
William A. Turnbow

-Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction
Bob Marley

-I hate seeing commercials like 'Don't do drugs!', and 'Why do you think they call it dope?', and then the next commercial is 'This Bud's for you!'" Bill Hicks

-I’d stay away from Ecstasy. This is a drug so strong it makes white people think they can dance.
Lenny Henry

-Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?" cocaine addict, Half Baked

-They used to burn witches. Today we laugh at them. Today we jail people for marijuana. Tomorrow they'll laugh at us. Robert "Rosie" Rowbotham
- I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.
Baseball player Tug McGraw in 1974, when asked if he preferred grass or artificial turf

- I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
Denis Leary

- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright

-I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
Unknown

- I used to have a drug problem, but now I make enough money.
David Lee Roth

- I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.
Mick Miller

- Reality is just a refuge for people who can't handle drugs.
Robin Williams

- I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.
Keith Richards

- Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education.
Leighann Lord

- Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
John Hardwick

- Moderation in all things -- including moderation.
Benjamin Franklin

- I used to get high on life until I realized that life was cut with morons
Unknown

- My dials are pupilated
Unknown

- The chemistry lesson from last century is that no drug has ever caused as much problems as the attempts to rescue us from them.
Arnold Trebach, professor emeritus, American University.

- The Grass is always greener ... when it is rolled up in a paper.
N.R. Johansson - Animal rights people are historically overt abusers of substances, but you know; if you took as much LSD as Paul McCartney you wouldn't eat anything with a face either.
Unknown

- In 1960, Allen Ginsberg takes Psilocybin at Timothy Leary's house, calls Jack Kerouac and identifies himself as God. Kerouac hangs up.
From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

- "The band The Orb have a little game they play, designed to limit the consumption of drugs to those still coherent enough to get a spark across a synapse. Having had his fill of a joint, Thrash turns to Alex: "What's the capital of Peru?" "Lima," replies Alex with some satisfaction. Thrash surrenders the spliff. "The Orb," explains Alex hazily, "has become a very geographically conscious band. Mountain ranges in Africa, rivers in Russia, cities in south America - we know 'em all. Have to. No geography, no drugs."
From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

- Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
Abbie Hoffman

- We can never solve our significant problems from the same level of thinking we were at when we created the problems.
Albert Einstein

Drugs have not been kind to poor Amy, now have they?

Amy before drugs

Amy before&after drugs

Amy after drugs

If you want to see some more photos of her Click here.

This is your mouse brain on drugs

Mouse Party is a funny Flash game that lets you explore how mice brains react to different drugs. Even though it's not particularly informative, it's kinda entertaining to watch a bunch of drugged out animated mice groove to chillout music and see how they react when you put them in the chair to be studied. ::giggle::

Drugs and the Brain

Human brains are unique, because they give us the power to reflect, talk and dream. All these processes are influenced by the use of drugs.
Choose one of the drugs below to see how it effects your brain. To learn more about the processes in your brain first, choose "How the brain works".

Drugs and the Brain (in 15 languages)

Damn This Menopause

2008-10-05T11:13:00.004-04:00

Happy Halloween

2008-10-05T11:06:00.003-04:00

PC??? Nah!

2008-10-05T10:58:00.004-04:00

Waz Zup???

2008-09-25T13:57:00.005-04:00

I seem to have everything and absolutely nothing going on in my life. Ever felt so overwhelmed, you know so busy, yet your doing nothing? It's like spinning your wheels with the brakes on, getting no where real fast.

I spend most of my blogging time on Ask Aunt Babz
[insert commercial plug] as, believe it or not we get like 5-7 letters a week. I can't even manage to get them done. Damn, how time fly's when you're having so much fun.

So tell me, what's going on in your neck of the woods?

Who's He Look Like???

2008-09-18T10:39:00.005-04:00

This looks like the brother of what celebrity...hint...hint...he's an actor and director?

I found it here. It's not of course but let's see if you can see the resemblance?

Yes, I was MIA. You can read why here. There's no place like home, there's no place like home...

Sensitivity training for freshman orientation

2008-08-10T11:21:00.000-04:00

Whose Line Is It Anyway - Uncensored Out

2008-08-09T10:51:00.003-04:00

I love this show, "Who's Line Is It Anyway." This is uncensored footage from the show. Way too funny!

Part One

Part Two

Good Idea #234

2008-08-01T09:02:00.004-04:00

VACUUM CLEANER RIDE-ON - FREE FOR EDITION.
YOU CLEAN AND YOUR CHILD RIDE.
MORE USEFUL IDEAS : WWW.ATYPYK.COM

For More Cool Ideas Click Here

R.I.P. Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-07-26T10:20:00.005-04:00

From Free Advice; Ask Aunt Babz

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving presentation, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

Editor's Note: I had the pleasure of briefly meeting this gentleman. I wasn't really aware of who he was, only that my crew/employees knew him by name. He came into the store I was the Manager of in Pittsburgh. I recognized him immediately when I watched this video as soon as it was released. I had, in my employee, at different times, CMU students. I called them, "my gifted crew," as only gifted and highly intelligent applicants get into CMU. I only spoke to this fella for a minute but I can look back in retrospect that he was a person who exuded, a positive force. A great example of a man, may he rest in peace but live long in the memory of man.

Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

My whole family thinks I'm gay

2008-07-13T06:44:00.000-04:00

Too funny not to share...

glumbert - My whole family thinks I'm gay

Dammit Stuck Again

2008-06-29T07:00:00.002-04:00

A to Z MeMe

2008-06-27T08:59:00.005-04:00

Found at my fav drummer Coopernicus and I just flippin felt like it. Yea, I'm supposed to be working on something but I've not been home in days and feel like letting my hair down. I might even fart and play with my balls while I do it...(No, I don't have any but if I did, I'd sit and play with them all day)

A is for your age:
I will be 50 in February. Painful, very painful.

B is for your burger of choice:

I love a grilled Burger with Bacon and Pepper Jack Cheese. Oh and add some wasabi mayo and I'm a happy camper.
C is for the car that you drive:
Until recently, it was an Acura TL. Now it's an Isuzu Rodeo, my sons. The system he has in it has so much bass vibration, I lost 2 fillings and some hair.
D is for dog’s name:
I prefer to call him my ex; Sonny
E is for an essential item you use each day:
My Computer and Ipod
F is for your favorite television show:
Current: The Shield, Rescue Me (when it's on)The Riches, Family Jewel's
Classic: Seinfeld
G is for favorite game:
Jeopardy or any trivia games. I like to play Checkers too. Believe it or not
H is for hometown:
Arlington, Virginia
I is for instruments played:
Drums and Bass guitar although I've not been able to hone either in quite some time. I will pick up the sticks and play in the air like a retard if a good song comes on. It's been 12 years since I played drums in or with the band. I love bass but because I'm a southpaw(Used to be. Long story) I never got very good.

J is for favorite juice:
Strawberry/Banana
K is for what you’d like to kick:
Kick the shit out of the owner of this dog that is barking non-stop across the street. It makes me crazy!
L is for last restaurant you dined at:
Pondegrossa. I do like their chicken wings and onion rings
M is for your favorite Muppet:
Me and the Count dated. He kept counting my nipples...
N is for number of piercings you have:
Six
O is for overnight hospital stays:
Six
P is for people you were with today:
My son Bill, his wife, Halena and grandkids, Lil Bill and Savage Samantha
Q is for what you do in quiet times:
Enjoy every frigin minute. Mainly work on the Computer

R is for regrets:
I have way too many to list. My Mom said we need to live w/o regret but that's too hard, isn't it? I suppose that I regret not learning, earlier on that while it's important for people to know what we stand for, it's equally important for them to know what we will not stand for.
S is for status:
I'm OK, nothing more, nothing less
T is for time you woke up today:
6:47a.m.
U is for what you consider unique:
Me in a weird way
V is for favorite vegetable:
Corn in any form but hopefully with lots of butter and salt
W is for your worst habit:
Lately, it's been picking and plucking my face. It's almost a release like cutting. It's really bad
X is for x-rays you have had:
Last week of my elbow, neck and back. But I've had them all over and a Cat scan. I can't have an MRI like they need and want because I have a bent screw in my arm they can't get out.
Y is for yummy food you ate today:
I ate leftover Chinese at my Grandaughter Jessie's yesterday. I made them Ziplock Omlette's which by the way are the coolest thing since male castration, I mean sliced bread
Z is for zodiac sign:
Aquarius, "The Water Bearer" and yes I love to drown people in water

(If you come across this and choose to do it, let me know?)

The Blonde Mortician

2008-06-22T14:55:00.003-04:00

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!

I know it's a bit cheesy, huh? Did you know I wanted to be a Mortician?

Courtesy of Bratlin)

Am I A Fireman Yet?

2008-06-02T11:27:00.008-04:00

My Father was LT. O'Dwyer in the Arlington County as well as Fairfax County Virginia Fire Dept. He was my hero and I wanted to be just like him. In my old age, this made me cry.

In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.

Although her heart was filled with sadness, she
also had a strong feeling o f determination.
Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up
& fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.

The leukemia would see to that. But she still
wanted her son's dream to come true.

She took her son's hand and asked,
'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted
to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and

wish what you would do with your life?'

Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman
when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can
make your wish come true.'

Later that day she went to her local fire
Department in Phoenix , Arizona , where she met
Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix ..

She explained her son's final wish and
Asked if it might be possible to give her 6
year-old son a ride around the block
on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do
better than that. If you'll have your son ready at
seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make
him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.
He can come down to the fire station, eat with us,
go out on all the fire calls, th e whole nine yards!

And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform
for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy -- one-with the

emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.'

'They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix , so
we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy,
dressed him in his uniform and escorted him
from his hospital bed to the waiting hook
and ladder truck.

Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and
help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day
and Billy got to go out on all three calls.

He rode in the differ ent fire engines,
the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car.

He was also videotaped for the local news program.

Having his dream come true, with all the love and

attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman,
so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible
to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.
The chief replied, 'We can do better than that.
We'll be there in five minutes.
Will you please do me a favor?
When you hear the sirens screaming and see
the lights flashing, will you announce over the
PA system that there is not a fire?' 'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?'

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its l adder up to Billy's third floor open window-------- 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room.
With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him. With his dying breath,
Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,

'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'

'Billy, you are, and
the Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,'

the chief said

With those words, Billy smiled and said, 'I know, He's been holding my hand all day,

and The angels have been singing..'

He closed his eyes one last time.

(This is true, according toSnopes.com & Truth or False.com)

(Courtesy of my Granddaughter, Jessie, the prettiest one named Jessie)

Unclaimed IRS Tax Refunds

2008-05-31T08:58:00.000-04:00

Are you on the list?

The Internal Revenue Service is looking for New York State taxpayers who are due refund checks.

Search by zipcode or town name below to see if you have unclaimed IRS refund checks.

CITY/TOWN/VILLAGE
ZIP CODE

Pocket Emo

2008-05-30T07:16:00.002-04:00

(Damn, I missed the boat. Will they have another Beatdown Day, next year? By the way, the site I got this picture from, on this particular post, has exactly 666 comments. Too wierd for me folks!)
This post of the Pocket Emo is from Sept. 2007. Why in God's Name do I get at least a hit, if not more, a day for this damn thing? Can anyone really tell me WTF is up?

This is a "must have" for all teens and pre-teens. Wanna be a groovy cool cat/daddio? Be a good parent and get your kid one today...

Daisy Does It

2008-05-21T10:54:00.000-04:00

...and I complained I had to walk to school. Just watch...

Free Text Messages

2008-05-16T11:21:00.000-04:00

You can send free Text Messages from this website. I tried it and it does work. Give it a whirl just for shitz-n-giggles.

Confession Time, Inc.

2008-05-03T11:04:00.004-04:00

It may flip-n-flop, who knows but give it a whirl, eh?

This is a new site, an affiliate of Ask Aunt Babz which gives you the opportunity to purge your soul, confess your sins, off load the grimy crime and get it all off your chest. Big or Small, they'll take it all! Check it out...

Confession Time, Inc.

1(800)GOOG-411

2008-05-03T07:02:00.002-04:00

I found this info here. For all intent and purpose, this looks like the real deal. If it is, it's quite helpful. I've not had the opportunity to check it out but if you do, let me know?

Happy Birthday Wam

2008-04-13T11:18:00.003-04:00

I write this/these for them, Wayne, William and today, for Waylon. On one hand, it might seem a bit sappy, bordering excessively sentimental. On the other hand, it's not easy to share your faults, especially like this, for the world to see. It can be somewhat cathartic to admit an erroneous life but raw emotions are not always cuddly and cute, either? That probably only makes sense to me?

One day, when I am dead and gone, they'll not have to hear me recount their births, as I do each and every year. They'll not have to secretly cringe or force a smile, thinking, "God, I wish she wouldn't." But it'll be here for them to visit, on the Internet. Hopefully, they'll know they were loved, that I would die for and kill, unflinchingly for them. I know this is probably boring, even for my son Waylon. But every year, every Birthday, I find myself visiting each birth, the birth of my three sons and recalling that day, "Their Day."

It's Waylon's Birthday. I'd give him the world, if I could. Since I can't, I'll give him my heart, my soul, my everything. I'll give him, all the love a woman can muster, a mother for her son. No, you can't put a price on love or the riches it brings. You can't put a price on the smiles, joyful tears or the memories that lie within. The world may try to break me, tear me down, take my pride but they can never take my memories. No, they'll never be able to erase that feeling, that memory of a son, so innocent, held close to my breast. I stood against the world, daring anyone to even try to pull him away. My demise would be Alzheimer's...

Yes, you could lock me up and throw away the key. You could kill me tomorrow but my love lives on and on. Plant me in the ground, incinerate me to ashes, even blow my ass up and my love lives on. And long after I'm gone, my love will thrive, if only in memory, intermingled, safely tucked in the DNA, the DNA I passed on to my sons, to Waylon.

I sadly admit, I've not always been the best Mom. In fact, I did a pretty shitty/shoddy job. Although I had my strong suits such as cooking them well balanced meals every single nite, they always had clean clothes and I kept my house fairly clean, I was a friend, a bad friend at that, when they really needed a Mom. I was never given, nor will I ever get an award for being a good Mother. I made a lot of bad choices.

I hurt my children, the very last people, I'd ever want to hurt. How is that possible, you know, to hurt your children as I did? How is it possible for a woman to do the things, the kind of selfish, drug addicted things I did, when my love was so strong? The greatest gift I ever received from my boys has been the forgiveness for all those terrible things. Love prevails. Good prevails. God prevails and I thank Him each and every day for the greatest gifts known to man/woman; The birth of a child. And so the story begins...

Many moons ago, I gave birth to a man on this very day. Weighing in at a whopping 10lbs.5oz's and 23 inches long, my youngest son, Waylon couldn't even wear newborn clothes. I think I remember he was born with a beard, tattoo's and piercings.

I was 22 years old when I had Waylon and I had opted to have my tubes tied, right then and there, in the delivery room. I'd had to go to a Psychiatrist for evaluation, to see if I was competent enough to make that decision at such a young age.

As soon as I'd given birth, they took Waylon away from me and I didn't get to hold him. I was quite upset by it, as I followed them, with my eyes, around the room. They were cleaning him up as I pushed the after birth out. I had to sign papers for them to take the Placenta to the lab to study it. They said it was the biggest they'd ever seen. I barely cared about anything but do remember watching this Doctor hold up, with two hands, this gigantic Placenta, showing it off to everyone in the room. All I was concerned with was my baby, crying in the little crib/incubator. He had his arms stretched out, fingers spread, as if he was crying to be held, crying for his Mom. I looked up at my husband and asked why I couldn't hold him, "Get him and give him to me NOW!!" Wayne, my husband, just stood there so I attempted to get up but my legs were strapped into these knee cradles.

I started to cry, white hot tears and begged them for my baby. "We have to take him to the special Neonatal Unit to check him out, Barbara." At this point I was sobbing, going from feeling like a lamb led to slaughter to a crazed maniac. "I'll kill all you motherfuckers if you hurt my baby," was about the last thing I said as they sedated me.

I woke in the Recovery Room, alone and pissed off. I wasn't supposed to have anesthesia when they tied my tubes. They were supposed to give me a local anesthetic but I suppose they did it as I was going off, threatening to kill everybody involved? Oddly enough, all these years later, 27 years later to be exact, I can still remember seeing Waylon, laying there, across the room from me, crying, flailing his arms. Yes, he broke my heart that day.

In the recovery room, I would cry, then doze off again. As I began to really wake up, I looked over, fresh tears in my eyes and saw my Dad, Micky O'Dwyer, sitting in the chair beside my bed. He took my hand and gently caressed it. "Why are you crying? Stop your crying. You have a handsome son, Good Lord, he's a wammy." Those words would stick to Waylon, all the days of his life.

Shortly after they took me to my room, I caught hell from the nurses as they caught me standing in front of the nursery, searching for my son. I agreed to go back to my room, once they agreed to bring him to me but only after dinner.

When I finally held Waylon, he stared me right in the eye, as if he knew me, knew I was his Mom. He was fixated on my face as I made my first attempt at breast feeding him. From the very start, he had an insatiable appetite. He'd nurse with great intention but would stop nursing and look into my eyes. Soul searching, so it seemed. Knowing he was my last child may have played into the fact that I continued to breast feed him till he was 18 months old.

His older brothers, Wayne and William were named after family members. Wayne, my oldest was named after his father and William was named after a long line of Williams. My Grandfathers father's name was William Wallace but I didn't know that till I was mature enough to ask, mature enough to appreciate the true Scottish name and lineage. My mothers father, my Grandfather, his name was William Francis and my mothers name was Billie Kay so it was a natural to name my second son after them as well as my Grandmothers fathers name was William too. My last son had to have a "W" name as well. After some thought, I gave him the name Waylon not in tribute to Waylon Jennings but simply because it was the only "W" name I liked. I gave him the middle name, Andrew, after my husbands best friend, Robert Andrew Zunzer.

Robert/Robby looked like a greek god with his long flowing hair and rippled muscles. On the day, back in 1975 that Wayne and I went to get our marriage license, we met Robby at the Lums, a lounge and restaurant, right next to the courthouse. We'd applied and had taken the mandatory blood tests and were waiting for the results and subsequent license to be typed up. We sat there, me sipping a Coke while the guys drank a beer. Wayne got up to go get the finished license, walking back over to the courthouse, leaving me there with Robby. It was then, that Robby said, "Don't marry him, ok? I've loved you for a long time, didn't you know this?" I looked at him like he'd lost his mind, reading his face for the punchline to the joke. "What," was all I could muster. "You heard me. I said that I love you and I mean it. Wadda I gotta do, tattoo your name on my forehead, for you to believe me?"
I got up to leave, now extremely uncomfortable. "I don't think that's very funny Robby," I stated as I was walking away, headed over to meet up with Wayne. Robby stood to leave at the same time and said, "And just why would you think I'd joke about this, Barbara? No joke," his voice was cracking and I turned to answer him when I noticed he had tears in his eyes. I never answered his question.

I did give my son Robby's middle name though and signed the birth certificate as Waylon Andrew Moore."WAM," how ironic? We called him, "Wammy," when he was little but shortened it to Wam as he got older. No name or even nickname could ever fit him better. Yes, he's Wam Bam Thank Ya Ma'am.

Happy Birthday Wam!!

TV Links; Watch Online for Free

2008-04-08T08:52:00.004-04:00

Download , watch online free on Tv-links.eu

I thought this was a really cool link. You can watch TV shows, movies, cartoons, anime and sports, all online.

Did you miss that episode of That 70's Show or Seinfeld? Didn't get to see all the Saw movies? Now, you can watch them here. Too cool, huh?

Ziplock Omelettes

2008-04-06T14:28:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted here or even on Real Food for Real People. Why not send in your favorite recipes, especially now that spring and summer are coming and Backyard BBQ's will be coming up soon. You can mail it to;

mzbabz@comcast.net

This is the coolest thing I've seen in a while.

If you have a big family or friends over, this is a great idea.

Put all of your favorite omelet ingredients out on a table, along with Ziplock Freezer bags.

Start by having everyone write their name on the bag in permanent marker

Crack 2 eggs (large or extra-large) into the bag (not more than 2) shake to combine them.

Put out a variety of ingredients such as cooked bacon or bacon bits, cheeses, ham, onion, green pepper, tomato, hash browns, salsa, etc. I like pepperoni and cheese! Plus you can put out different herbs & spices. Dill is a personal favorite and Jane's Crazy salt (Not easy to find).

Adults can put their fav ingredients in their bag and shake. Of course, you let the kids shake theirs but if you don't want raw egg everywhere, you'd better keep an open eye, right?

Make sure to get the air out of the bag and zip it up.

Place the bags into rolling, boiling water for approximately/exactly 13 minutes. You should be able to cook 6-8 omelets in a large pot. Or get two pots going so everyone can eat together. (How many times, Mom have you had to eat last?)

Open the bags, carefully and the omelet will roll out easily. These are nice to serve with hash browns or maybe even some pancakes made with applesauce, huh?

The Secret Behind the Number 11

2008-03-24T11:30:00.004-04:00

Pretty Chilling - read to the bottom. Try it out.

If you are a skeptical person - still read on as it's actually very interesting!!

This is actually really freaky!! (Mainly the end part, but read it all first)

1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb has 11 letters. (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993)
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.

Sheer coincidence..?

Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.

2 + 5 + 4 = 11

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognized symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran, the Islamic holy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Koran.

Unconvinced about all of this still ..?

Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:

Please do the following:

1. Highlight the Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.
2. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS……………………

What do you think now????

Talking Cats

2008-02-23T14:19:00.001-05:00

This is so damn cute. If it doesn't put a smile on your face...you might need a check up from the neck up. Yes, you'd better check yourself!

History Lesson

2008-02-18T06:48:00.007-05:00

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theatre named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Further Strange Brew...This is from a post from my old blog, Bitchin & Stuff;

Saturday, July 01, 2006

YOU HAVE TO WONDER WHY ME???

I HAVE TO WONDER WHY THE ALLEGHENY COUNTY PROSECUTOR'S OFFICE OF PITTSBURGH, HAS MY BLOG COMMENTARY ON HIS POST. CHECK IT OUT!!
And so does the Bailbondsman.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 03:04:04 -0500

Dr. Wecht's Tirade/Commentary by Babsbitchin'

by Bail bondsman (bail-bondsman) @ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 03:04:04 -0500

Neither the shooter nor another bail bondsman who was at the house have been identified, and neither one has been charged.The coroner's office subpoenaed Pittsburgh police to turn over reports, interviews and photographs pertaining to ...

Original post: Dr. Wecht's Tirade/Commentary by Babsbitchin' by at Google Blog Search: bail bondsman

HERE IS THE ORIGINAL POST

If I suddenly disappear, it is this post on Dr.Wecht that will have done it. Talk about conspiracy theory. Cyril Wecht was the infamous Doctor/Coroner, now under indictment who just a few years ago did an inquest and was given full access to the Warren Commissions documentation on the assassination of JFK. Basically, he proved there was no magic bullet. Then, after that, he spoke the truth on several cases, high profile cases. I will not mention these cases.

Babz Bitchin Wants to Know
Was It Conspiracy in the JFK Assasination?

I Believe it was Only Lee Harvey Oswald
I Don't Believe in the Magic Bullet Theory
Yes, It was a Conspiracy
No, It Wasn't A Conspiracy

view results

Darwin Awards

2008-02-15T13:06:00.006-05:00

Ya gotta love it. The reason I even went to the Darwin Awards was because of this story about founding band member, Terry Kath of Chicago. He died of an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound. Very unfortunate as I thought he was a true, undisputed talent.

I got to reading and rooting around and came across this story which I happen to remember. Amongst others, I found some rather intriguing and could read for hours, especially one in particular that I had read some time ago. It is the story of the death of one, Ron Opus which is considered an Urban Legend. Who Knows? But it's one helluva story even concocted.

(Authors Note: I do not believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution but do so love these Awards)

~Babz on Fire~

Happy Thanksgiving

The Middle Wife

Quote of the Day

Patrick Swayze RIP

For Baby Brianna

The G-Ma Life #3

1 question, 1 chance, 1 honest answer. You can ask me 1 question (to my inbox) Any question, anything no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch. You'll get the answer within 48 hours! But I dare you to post this on your status an see what people ask youEmail Babz Here

Note To Self

Mom Gets Tasered

The G-Ma Life #2

Great White Appetite: Surprise Attack

Friday Funnies

The G-Ma Life #1

Priceless

Monkey Make Out

And All That Jazz...

Jerusalem of Gold

Evian Babies

"As My World Breeds"

Prayers Please???

I Am...

You are The High Priestess

Re-Post; Sex Coupons

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Sex Coupons

Birth On A Playground???

New Orbit Suppositories

Fat Bastard

Half Nekkid Thursday

Commentary by Babsbitchin

The Falling Man

Brady Lee

Doors of Communication

Good Cop/Bad Cop

My Hero; The Fruitcake Lady

Stumble Upon; The Works of Jacek Yerka

Cream That Egg

R.I.P. Wayne Lee Moore, Sr.

Nix The Mix or What A Mess

TWISTED TUESDAY/ WCRZ RADIO

April Fool's...

Running with Hedge Clippers

JUST MY OPINION!!

test

Run Weiner Run

Talking Clock

More Christmas...

Video inédite du 11 septembre/StumbleUpon

Merry Christmas Mama Bear

Shoplifting Dog?

Make A Flake and Sing With The King

G-Ma's Girls

Snorkling in Jamestown, NY

Sex or Cake, Please???

Damn That Chili

Something To Ponder

Woman Stripped By Men in Jail Setting

Tagged

The Chilling Effect

Professional Pumpkins Carving

Misc Mayhem

Funny in Flight Announcements

A Little Booger Sugar, Please???

This is your mouse brain on drugs

Drugs and the Brain

Damn This Menopause

Happy Halloween

PC??? Nah!

Waz Zup???

Who's He Look Like???

Sensitivity training for freshman orientation

Whose Line Is It Anyway - Uncensored Out

Good Idea #234

R.I.P. Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

My whole family thinks I'm gay

Dammit Stuck Again

A to Z MeMe

The Blonde Mortician

Am I A Fireman Yet?

1 question, 1 chance, 1 honest answer. You can ask me 1 question (to my inbox) Any question, anything no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch. You'll get the answer within 48 hours! But I dare you to post this on your status an see what people ask you
Email Babz Here